firecat | Amusing marketing copy

I recently ordered some business cards, and I guess I got on a mailing list. I got a pen in the mail with my name and address printed on it, and a letter including this copy:

The business world is a jungle and what's the first law of the jungle? That's right, it's survival of the fittest. There is no help out there when things get tough.
So my suggestion to you is this. Even if business is good, don't get too comfortable. Buy some "customer loyalty insurance" and invest in an order of the [Brandname] pens.

One of the sample designs shown is for "Valhalla Visitor Center".