"Nonviolent communication is for the privileged"

[firecat]

"Nonviolent Communication Is for the Privileged" by Raffi Marhaba

A zillion people posted this link in the last day or two. Most posted it without much comment, which annoyed me, because the headline is really unclear.

So here's a summary of what the essay says:
Marshall Rosenberg's book called Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life is flawed because it overfocuses on similarities among people and doesn't take into account differences in culture, language, education, power and influence. Also it appropriates communication tools that were widely in use before Rosenberg's method (NVC) existed.

"In conclusion, NVC can be a useful tool to resolve interpersonal conflict, to explore what our feelings mean, to take accountability for our actions, to improve ourselves and the way we communicate and it can also be a dangerous and violent tool that allows for people in power to feel good about themselves while benefiting from oppressed people."

Comments

[jesse_the_k]

Thank you for useful expansion!

[firecat]

+

[sabotabby]

Cool, it's not like I have time to read either. :)

[lovepeaceohana]

Oooh, I remember having read and stewed about this when it first started cropping up in my feeds -- it had escaped me at the time that the criticism was not about the particular communication tools, but about this specific method and its commodification, so while it's too late to get that time back I do definitely appreciate this kind of summary which points to the specific issue as a potential pitfall.

[firecat]

Yes exactly. I assumed the article might be saying something like "treating people with respect is useless in the real world." I'm glad that I read it and realized that's not what it is saying. That lets me go back to trusting the people who were sharing it.

[silveradept]

That was a useful thing to link, and helpful in the context of some aggressions that I have been following for the last little while.

[firecat]

I'm sorry there are aggressions in your general (e-)vicinity