firecat | (no subject)

Originally posted as a comment in the journal of beth666ann

Through the Miracle of Better Living Thru Chemistry, I went from having pretty constant anxiety to having very little anxiety.

BC [Before Chemicals] I used to "pre-worry" about things, fret about aspects that I had no influence over as yet. Now I don't pre-worry as much; I deal with stuff when the time comes. This isn't because of some great revelation about life, it's just that I got the d*mn adrenal system under control.

I don't think I'm "normal," though. I have a lifetime of habits and personality built up from when I did feel more fear. For example, I am easily amused and don't need constant high levels of stimulation/excitement. I think that's related to having been a fearful/easily overwhelmed person. Although a lot of my fear is gone, I still don't need much excitement. I'm up for a challenge I really think I'll get something out of, but you won't find me taking on any "because it's there" challenges.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Risperdal tends to raise anxiety levels. I am a bit more fearless since I lowered my dosage.

The combination of mental illness, psychiatry, and eastern techniques has altered my relationship to "self" forever. For me "self" resembles a sand dune more than a mountain. Both the view and the viewer are constantly shifting and reshaping. Perhaps that is why my furniture inflates and folds.