Parent–child relationships (Comment posted else-net)

[firecat]

"Some parents get really upset when their kids diverge from their headcanons about them."

A great deal of the difficulty in my relationship with my mother just dissolved away to nothing when I read this sentence.

My mother is gone so this difficulty has been living entirely in my head for ten years. I mean, I still have feelings about her having wanted me to be different, but there's something healing about interpreting her want that way. Because I know that, while headcanons can be very emotionally compelling, they're only in your head. They aren't a Great Truth of the Universe or a Moral Imperative.*

*except a couple of mine :D

Comments

[lilysea]

My mother's headcanon is "my *daughter* was put on this earth in order to mother me/parent me/meet all my emotional needs/be my confidant", so...

[firecat]

That's rough.

[lilacsigil]

Are you the only daughter? I am, and it was weird to see the body issues completely skip over my brothers (one of them is very thin, to the point of being medically underweight until his mid-20s, but the other brother and I look extremely alike, including body type).

[lilysea]

Are you the only daughter?

I'm their only child - I was the first child they had, mum almost died in childbirth, she was told not to have any more children.