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"Some parents get really upset when their kids diverge from their headcanons about them."
A great deal of the difficulty in my relationship with my mother just dissolved away to nothing when I read this sentence.
My mother is gone so this difficulty has been living entirely in my head for ten years. I mean, I still have feelings about her having wanted me to be different, but there's something healing about interpreting her want that way. Because I know that, while headcanons can be very emotionally compelling, they're only in your head. They aren't a Great Truth of the Universe or a Moral Imperative.*
*except a couple of mine :D
A great deal of the difficulty in my relationship with my mother just dissolved away to nothing when I read this sentence.
My mother is gone so this difficulty has been living entirely in my head for ten years. I mean, I still have feelings about her having wanted me to be different, but there's something healing about interpreting her want that way. Because I know that, while headcanons can be very emotionally compelling, they're only in your head. They aren't a Great Truth of the Universe or a Moral Imperative.*
*except a couple of mine :D
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Date: 1 Sep 2021 02:55 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 1 Sep 2021 09:31 am (UTC)I'm their only child - I was the first child they had, mum almost died in childbirth, she was told not to have any more children.
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Date: 1 Sep 2021 06:25 am (UTC)A different gender presentation than she preferred figured in heavily as well. And a few other things. We mostly stopped wrangling about those issues once I passed my mid-20s but they were still in my head.
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Date: 1 Sep 2021 08:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 1 Sep 2021 11:48 am (UTC)I couldn't explain this to my mother because she doesn't understand things like headcanons, but it explains things to me.
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