reblogarythm: (monday)
[personal profile] reblogarythm

  1. raga Ahir Bhairav
    by Ilyas Nadjafi with Mithun Chakraborty
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNgoZ-isJso
    in case you need some morning listening
    via rss

  2. Technocapitalism and the Bad Future of Music
    by Adam Neely
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8dcFhF0Dlk
    i didn't actually vomit in my mouth in the first five minutes, but it was close
    via rss
sisterdivinium: mother superion and jillian salvius from warrior nun being close hehe (Default)
[personal profile] sisterdivinium posting in [community profile] halfamoon
Title: Does this hurt?
Fandom: Warrior Nun
Characters: Jillian Salvius, with Mother Superion and Camila (Yasmine is in the background).
Rating: G
Notes: Done with Chinese ink and graphite.
Summary: It's not what she was supposed to be doing but Jillian finds herself patching up the sisters after their missions.

Over here, at my journal.

Hornblower, episode 4

3 Feb 2026 08:28 am
osprey_archer: (Default)
[personal profile] osprey_archer
Next up in the Hornblower movieverse: The Wrong War (originally The Frogs and the Lobsters), featuring Horatio Hornblower’s involvement in the ill-fated attack French royalist landing at Quiberon. (“Quiberon! There was a D. K. Broster book about that!” I crowed.)

Enjoyable as usual, although the slashiness quotient was low (very little Kennedy, Bush hasn’t appeared yet). Once again the film is telling pretty much the same story as the book but changing the thematic valence: in the book, the point of Quiberon seems to be that the strict discipline of the marines saves the day (for the British retreat, anyway, the undisciplined Royalists are screwed), whereas here, Captain Pellew saves the day by disobeying his orders to stay at one beach and instead heads to the other to pick up the possible survivors.

(Basically I think the Hornblower movies were made by people who are really more sympathetic to the liberte, egalite, fraternite of the French Revolution than the ideals of the Royal Navy circa 1800: obedience, order, discipline, respect for rank, etc. etc.)

Also, the filmmakers decided that it was time for Hornblower to have a romance (with a girl), and have therefore introduced the character of Mariette, a French peasant girl who became a schoolteacher following the Revolution. This led (I imagine) to some version of the following conversation:

FILMMAKER #1: But what will we do with Mariette in the later films?

FILMMAKER #2: Don’t worry about it! We’ll kill her at the end of this one.

I did not care for this ending, so I have taken the liberty of rewriting it, starting from the scene in Mariette’s house where Hornblower begs her to run away with him while the townsfolk outside riot.

HORNBLOWER: I won’t leave without you!

MARIETTE: Climb out ze window!

HORNBLOWER climbs out the window. MARIETTE leans out the window looking after him, but does not move to climb down.

HORNBLOWER: Jump!

MARIETTE: (with tears in her eyes) Nevaire can I leave la belle France! Vive la Republique! Adieu, ‘Ornblowaire!

MARIETTE shuts the shutters. HORNBLOWER looks like he wants to climb back up and argue, but suddenly the yelling is getting much closer, and he must flee.

HORNBLOWER makes it to the bridge literally seconds before the British blow it up. The British retreat to the beach, where they are rescued by the Indefatigable.

HORNBLOWER stands by the rail, staring out at the receding coast of France. KENNEDY comes to stand beside him.

HORNBLOWER: “I could not love her, dear, so well/loved she not la belle France more.”

KENNEDY clasps Hornblower’s shoulder in manly sympathy. They gaze together at their one true mistress, the sea.

FIN
[personal profile] jazzyjj posting in [community profile] awesomeers
It's challenge time!

Comment with Just One Thing you've accomplished in the last 24 hours or so. It doesn't have to be a hard thing, or even a thing that you think is particularly awesome. Just a thing that you did.

Feel free to share more than one thing if you're feeling particularly accomplished!

Extra credit: find someone in the comments and give them props for what they achieved!

Nothing is too big, too small, too strange or too cryptic. And in case you'd rather do this in private, anonymous comments are screened. I will only unscreen if you ask me to.

Go!
melime: (Default)
[personal profile] melime posting in [community profile] halfamoon
Title: Guilty Pleasures
Fandom: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Character: Cassandra Pentaghast & Leliana
Prompt: Guilty Pleasures
Rating/Category: T/Gen
Summary: Leliana finds Cassandra reading the latest Swords & Shields.
Notes: With this prompt, my mind went straight to Cassandra's quest, Guilty Pleasures. The serious and responsible Seeker can't be caught enjoying the romance books of the guy she once arrested, right?

Guilty Pleasures
Finding Cassandra is trivial, even if she thinks that she's hiding. Not hiding so much that someone who did find her would have just cause to accuse her of hiding, but hiding nonetheless, at a spot in the yard that, while still out in the open, would only be visible by people passing by.

“You know, if you wanted Varric's book this badly, I could have taken it for you,” Leliana says, arriving quietly enough that her words are the first thing to betray her presence.

Cassandra nearly throws the books in the air, then holds it protectively against her chest, as if she means to hide the cover. The problem is, Leliana was at Kirkwall, she was witness when Cassandra first got her hands on Swords & Shields and all the excuses that she has for reading it. It's a terribly guarded secret, but at least Cassandra is far better at that with things that matter.

“I don't know what you're talking about. I… did the Inquisitor tell you to?” Cassandra asks, with a sigh of resignation.

“Oh no, she told no one, except for Varric. And then they were talking about it, loudly, in public. She's trying to understand what's so special about this story to make it a secret,” Leliana says, although she had found out through other sources before that as well.

She says it more to illustrate a point, if Cassandra wanted it to remain a secret, then she shouldn't have asked for the Inquisitor's help. The Inquisitor does get things done, but she's not always the best with expectations of privacy.

“I should have known. I should have known better than to let myself get carried away, but the last one ended in a cliffhanger and I just needed to know what happened to the Knight-Commander,” Cassandra says, as if she needs to justify her reading habits.

Leliana laughs. “Don't be silly, just read your books. The world is not going to end because you took an hour to yourself. It might still end, but it won't be for this.”

Cassandra looks around, but no one seems to be noticing them talking there, and to anyone out of earshot, they might as well be talking about some important Inquisition matter.

“I suppose I can stay here another few minutes. I only have fifteen pages to go,” Cassandra says, opening the book again.

Leliana leaves her be. Good on her, they all have such weight on their shoulders, they won't last long without a few guilty pleasures.

Day 3 Theme - The Caregiver

3 Feb 2026 06:03 am
cmk418: (Gloria)
[personal profile] cmk418 posting in [community profile] halfamoon
Today's theme is The Caregiver.

Here are some ideas to get you started: She spends time looking after others, often to the exclusion of her own needs. Whether this is an occupation like a doctor, or whether she's a parent or looking after her own parents, she thrives on taking care of other people. Or you could look at a character who was thrown into a caregiving role that might not want to be there and show how she navigates that path.

Just go wherever the Muse takes you. If this prompt doesn't speak to you, feel free to share something that does. You can post in a separate entry or as a comment to this post.

Want to get a jump start on tomorrow's theme? Check out the prompt list in the pinned post at the top of the page. Please don't post until that day.
[syndicated profile] davidallengreen_feed

Posted by David Allen Green

3rd February 2026

You probably have seen the disclosures of the emails purportedly from Lord Mandelson from when he was business secretary.

On the face of it, these emails raise serious questions which warrant further enquiry and investigation.

(And if you want speculation about legal liability this really is not the blog for you.)

There are also questions we can ask of this documentary evidence, and observations that we can perhaps make.

*

First of all: no documentary evidence exists in a vacuum.

Every text has, well, a context.

(Think about the words text and context.)

The Epstein files are not a disinterested archive.

The documents were collected for a purpose and were stored for a purpose.

According to the relevant legislation, the disclosed documents comprise “all unclassified records, documents, communications, and investigative materials in DOJ’s possession that relate to the investigation and prosecution of Jeffrey Epstein”.

So one question that can be asked of the documents disclosed so far is: do they explain the prosecutorial decisions (and also the defense and any judicial decisions) in respect of the “the investigation and prosecution of Jeffrey Epstein”?

If there is a gap between what has been disclosed and what these documents need to explain, then one can get a sense of what documents have not (yet) been disclosed (whether for good reasons or bad).

Of each document one should ask: how does this document relate to “the investigation and prosecution of Jeffrey Epstein”?

For if the document does not relate to the that investigation and prosecution, then it should not have been collected, and it would not have been disclosed.

*

From a cynical perspective, there is always corruption in and around government.

What seems to have been revealed with these United Kingdom disclosures emails is clumsiness and arrogance.

A less clumsy and less arrogant approach would have meant such emails never existing.

Westminster and Whitehall is full of leaks: off the record briefings and so on.

There is complex and thriving entire unofficial information economy in SW1.

The sort of state information seemingly forwarded by Mandelson to Epstein is similar to documents which are routinely forwarded or briefed to journalists and advisers and lobbyists and researchers and think tanks.

“Sources close to….”

“Friends of…”

“Whitehall insiders say…”

Such unauthorised communications and disclosure are rife in Westminster and Whitehall.

What Lord Mandelson appears to have done is an especially significant breach involving highly market sensitive information.

But if so, its significance is really of scale, and not of type.

*

There appears to be many documents covered by the Epstein files disclosure legislation that, contrary to the terms of the statute, have not been disclosed.

No government discloses adverse information easily or voluntarily, or indeed often at all.

Especially if, as with the Trump administration, there is a generally casual and indeed defiant attitude towards mandatory legislation and court orders.

Maybe there will inadvertent disclosure of documents that will seriously damage the Trump presidency, if such documents actually exist.

But it is difficult to believe that the (current) federal government would knowingly disclose such documents, regardless of what the courts and Congress say.

Little or nothing, however, can stop a government disclosing documents that adversely affect others.

*

Every document has a context, and every disclosure also has a context.

And so the questions to always ask are:

– what does the document relate to, and what does it not relate to?

and

– why was this document disclosed – now and by whom and for what purpose?

***

Comments Policy

This blog enjoys a high standard of comments, many of which are better and more interesting than the posts.

Comments are welcome, but they are pre-moderated and comments will not be published if irksome, or if they risk derailing the discussion.

More on the comments policy is here.

Recipe: Heaven in a bowl.

3 Feb 2026 03:56 am
pattrose: (Cactus3)
[personal profile] pattrose
Heaven in a bowl.

Ingredients:
18.3 ounces box fudge brownie mix, baked and cooled according to package directions in a 9×13 pan and cut into 1 inch pieces
6.8 ounces instant vanilla pudding (two 3.4-ounce boxes)
3 cups whole milk, cold
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup creamy peanut butter, Peter Pan brand used
16 ounces whipped topping, thawed and divided (1 ½ cups folded into the filling and the remaining used to create the trifle layers) (Cool Whip brand used) (approximately 6 ½ cups)
36 Mini Reese’s cups, unwrapped and cut into halves (divided into 3 – ⅓ amount portions for layering and garnish)

Instructions:
Prepare and bake the fudge brownie mix according to package directions, for your brand of mix, in a 9×13 baking pan. Cool the brownies completely before cutting them into 1 inch pieces. Set aside.
In a large mixing bowl whisk together the instant vanilla pudding, whole milk and vanilla extract for 2 minutes or until the pudding has thickened.
Whisk in the creamy peanut butter until the mixture is smooth and thick.
Fold 1 ½ cups of the thawed whipped topping into the peanut butter pudding mixture until no white streaks remain.
To the bottom of a 3 quart trifle dish, add half the fudge brownie pieces in a single layer followed by ⅓ of the halved mini Reese’s peanut butter cups sprinkled over the brownie pieces.
Next, spread half of the peanut butter pudding filling over the brownies and Reese’s cups in a smooth, even layer.
Top with half (approximately 2 ½ cups) of the remaining whipped topping spread to an even layer.
Repeat steps 5 – 7 with the fudge brownie pieces, another ⅓ of the halved mini Reese’s peanut butter cups, peanut butter pudding filling and remaining whipped topping.
Garnish the top of the heaven in a bowl trifle with the remaining ⅓ halved mini Reese’s peanut butter cups piled into the center of the whipped topping.
Refrigerate the heaven in a bowl for 3-4 hours or until completely chilled and the peanut butter pudding layer has firmed up enough to easily scoop out individual servings.

Mod Post: Off-Topic Tuesday

3 Feb 2026 08:40 am
icon_uk: Mod Squad icon (Mod Squad)
[personal profile] icon_uk posting in [community profile] scans_daily
In the comments to these weekly posts (and only these posts), it's your chance to go as off topic as you like.

Talk about non-comics stuff, thread derail, and just generally chat among yourselves.

The intent of these posts is to chat and have some fun and, sure, vent a little as required. Reasoned debate is fine, as always, but if you have to ask if something is going over the line, think carefully before posting please.

Normal board rules about conduct and behaviour still apply, of course.

It's been suggested that, if discussing spoilers for recent media events, it might be advisable to consider using the rot13 method to prevent other members seeing spoilers in passing.

The world situation is the world situation. If you're following the news, you know it as much as I do, if you're not, then there are better sources than scans_daily. But please, no doomscrolling, for your own sake.

A shout out to all in Minnesota who are doing a spectacular job of peacefully pissing off people in power (That came out more Stan Lee than I expected).

More of the Epstein files were released, and I've lost track of what is being released to distract from what because it seems to be a Möbius strip.

In what I think must be a first, Disney+ dropped all the episodes of their Yahya Abdul-Mateen II led "Wonder Man" series. One might suspect lack of confidence in their product in not even giving it a weekly release.

On the plus side, The Muppet Show special airs this week, and I think we all need something like that right now.

A documentary about the current FLOTUS also arrived to be greeted by reviews which were a gift to the sarcastic (My favourite remains "If they showed this as an in-flight movie, the audience would STILL walk out") and lots of photos of empty cinemas, though it did manage to get bums on seats in the US.

The Grammy's happened but, since my musical awareness rarely extends beyond oompah-bands and/or Himalayan throat-singing I don't feel qualified to comment.

Talking It Out by Kinkykikker

3 Feb 2026 08:02 am
[syndicated profile] ohjoysextoy_feed

Posted by Matthew Nolan

Talking It Out by Kinkykikker

“We barely do anal anymore.” Kinkykikker explores the conversation every long-term couple dreads in this story on the realities of when passions fades while the love endures. We loved getting the chance to work with Kinkykikker on todays comic. Their work just has such a cool vibe. Make sure to go check out their art […]
[syndicated profile] scalziwhatever_feed

Posted by John Scalzi

HOLY FUCKING SHIT I AM IN THE FUCKING EPSTEIN FILESSpecifically, my essay "Straight White Male: The Lowest Difficulty Setting" is referenced in a 2013 Rachel Sklar article about Muriel Siebert. Why is it in the Epstein files at all? You got me. What a wild fucking discovery. I am literally agog.

John Scalzi (@scalzi.com) 2026-02-03T07:06:50.335Z

To be clear, I did not expect to find myself in the Epstein Files, inasmuch as I have neither ever met nor have ever communicated with Jeffrey Epstein, nor do I hang out with the sort of people who find themselves on the private planes or islands of known sexual traffickers of children — a fact I’m deeply relieved about, if you want the truth of it.

Nevertheless when I learned that the database of the files is searchable, I put “Scalzi” in it to see what would pop up. I expected — and thus was not surprised by — several references to that name, because a banker with that last name handled some of Trump’s accounts at Deutsche Bank several years ago (no relation, as far as I know). But one of the references is indeed to me: Writer Rachel Sklar referenced me in an article she wrote in 2013, which is in the files for some reason, I assume because someone forwarded it to someone else in an email.

And, look: If one must have the appalling fortune to be in the Epstein Files, a one-sentence reference to an essay one wrote, located within another essay, neither about a topic that has anything to do with the exploitation of children, is almost certainly the best-case scenario. But it doesn’t mean I didn’t look at the reference when it popped up and say “oh, fuck” to myself. What a wild, unsettling and unhappy context in which to find one’s self.

So why mention it at all? One, because when people inevitably come across that reference to me in the files and email me about it, I can point them to this as a way to say “Yup, seen it, what a weird fucking thing that is” without having to type it out every single time. Two, I have enough detractors out there that one or more of them will loudly proclaim to their little pals that I am in the Epstein Files, and then slide past the actual context of being referred to tangentially, rather than being an actual participant in atrocities. Pointing this out before they do gives me “first mover” advantage, and the ability to point out what my appearance is actually about. This won’t stop some of them from misrepresenting my appearance, but that’s because they’re sad little weenies. Here’s the actual file I’m in. You can see it for yourself.

Nevertheless, a declaration:

For the absolute avoidance of doubt: Never once ever had anything to do with Jeffrey Epstein or any of his band of heinous child rapists up to and including the current president of the United States. Put them all into prison. Every single one of them. Never let them out.

John Scalzi (@scalzi.com) 2026-02-03T07:06:50.336Z

I trust that will make my position on Epstein and his party pals clear enough.

What a strange and unpleasant time we are living through, nor are we out of it. And once again I have cause to marvel at the weirdness of my own life, that I should show up, even as an aside, as part of one of most horrible political scandals in US history. I would have just as soon sat this one out. But since I can’t, at least I can tell you how I got there.

— JS

burnhername: Faith pic with the word editor (SH editor Faith)
[personal profile] burnhername posting in [community profile] su_herald
JOYCE: So, what did you and Faith do last night?
BUFFY: Nothing. Uh... (smiles thinly) Nothing really important.
JOYCE: (gets a coffee mug) Don't worry. (grabs the coffee pot) I'm not gonna meddle in your slaying. (pours a cup) Just as long as you're careful.

~~Bad Girls~~




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[syndicated profile] phillips_p_obrien_feed

Posted by Phillips P. OBrien

Hi All,

I’ve been accumulating information for this piece for a while, and then this article appeared in the Financial Times, last week. It argued that the guardrails which protect the US democratic system were holding up tolerably well under the continual assault of Donald Trump and his administration. It was an interesting read, not least for the fact that I disagreed almost entirely with the conclusions within it. The article missed out almost completely the massive, historic and deeply destabilizing corruption of the Trump administration which is a dagger at the heart of American democracy. It represents a mortal threat to the American Republic and has shown that one clear constitutional provision and subsequent legislation and bureaucratic checks can be disregarded with impunity.

Phillips’s Newsletter is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Lets start with the US Constitution. The founders understood that if the American Republic was going to survive, it needed to prevent the possibility of foreign states corrupting its leadership. They were so worried about this happening that they added in the very first article of the Constitution what has come to be known as the emoluments clause.

It was not subtle.

No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State.

No US office holder should be allowed to accept presents or awards etc from any foreign state. To reinforce their worries about corruption, the founders made it, or “Bribery”, an explicit part of the impeachment process which was in Article 2.

The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.

And these restrictions while not perfect, were accepted by all parties. Now we have an administration that is openly selling itself, and America’s most important secrets, to foreign states and the guardrails are not only failing, they hardly seem to exist. In fact, the guardrails are collapsing in a haze of gold-plated, crypto shininess.

Step inside Donald Trump's new presidential jet. Picture: Altitude Jet
The lavish interior of the Boeing jumbo jet gifted to Trump—that is quite an emolument.

Lets start with some stories about present payoffs going to the administration. What we see are what seems to be straightforward payments, bribes, emoluments, call them what you will, that result in policy changes.

Read more

2026 60 questions Meme

3 Feb 2026 12:18 am
pattrose: (White Kitten)
[personal profile] pattrose
What things in your life would you describe as priceless?

1. My family. I realize they aren’t things but they are priceless.
2. My dog Dakota Rose. She’s going on 15 and I hope we’ll have her a couple more years.
3: Our home.
4. Some art done by my two brothers that papercut, draw and paint. I love every peace.
5. My books.
6. My music.
7. I forgot friends. I think of them as family.
8. My DW communities and friends.
9. My Dad’s favorite cook book, which I use to this day. He was a chef.
10. My photographs. There are so many.
mistressofmuses: Image of nebulae in the colors of the bi pride flag: pink, purple, and blue (Default)
[personal profile] mistressofmuses
So after getting out of the hospital, my primary task was to get medical leave approved.

Colorado has a fairly generous required leave (called FAMLI), which is intended to allow basically anyone who is employed to take a fairly hefty chunk of time off if required, for their own health issues, to take care of a loved one with health issues, for maternity/paternity leave, etc. I’ve had several coworkers take it; one for paternity leave, one when he was dealing with his father’s failing health and then death, one for neck surgery.

So I got home on Thursday night, planning to submit my leave application on Friday, so that it was done. My HR department had sent me the information about the company that I would need, and just needed me to submit my application to the state. (When on leave, my company would not be paying me; the state would pay me a percentage of my salary. So I don’t get my full salary for the time that I’m out, but get a portion of it, similar to unemployment wages.)


Cut for length. Nothing gross, except the horrors of bureaucracy:

Friday

I mentioned it in my previous post, but I sat down to get the application filled out and submitted…

Or I tried to. Three and a half hours later, I had not succeeded. I did not remember which phone number out of a list had once been mine (any phone number other than my childhood phone number and my work phone number is not stored in my brain), and so was told I needed to get a notarized attestation of identity form.

After some fiddling, I got a different creepy set of questions that I was able to answer, and it no longer asked for the notarized form.

I hit a dead end at the required medical form, which must be filled out by your healthcare provider. Sometimes this can be done electronically, but the only doctor’s name I had was the surgeon who performed the appendectomy, and she was not listed in their database to send an electronic form to. I would have to print the form and get it signed.

I called the surgical clinic number, hoping they could tell me if someone would sign this form for me. (I was also supposed to reach out to them to schedule my surgery follow-up, however they warned me they were likely out-of-network, so I might either need to reach out to my PCP to follow up with them instead, or to get a referral for the clinic. This was an issue because I haven’t had a PCP in more than a decade.) I did not get a person on the phone, so left a voicemail. Their voicemail message very aggressively tells you DO NOT CALL MORE THAN ONCE, DO NOT LEAVE MULTIPLE MESSAGES, YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED BY END OF DAY.

I did not get a call back.

Saturday

I did not work on this. I was very tired, and kind of demoralized, and just didn’t feel up to dealing with it.

Sunday

I went over to my mom’s to borrow her printer in order to print off the forms I needed to have signed. (Grateful that was an option for me, rather than having to pay to do it somewhere.)

Not having heard back from the surgery clinic, I headed over to the hospital where my surgery was done. I went back up to the floor where I had stayed post-surgery, hoping maybe one of the nurses I’d had would still be on-duty. The form does prominently say that any licensed healthcare provider - doctors, nurses, midwives, etc. - can sign the form, as long as they have knowledge of the patient and health condition in question.

The nurse on duty (not one of the ones I’d met) acted like she’d never seen that sort of form before, and sort of scolded me that any forms like this should have been taken care of before I was discharged. (Which… so sorry I didn’t have a computer and printer with me in my hospital room?) She spoke to their “case manager,” who apparently told her that only a medical doctor is allowed to sign it, so I would have to speak to the surgical team in order to get it signed.

She told me that I should just plan on having it signed at my follow-up appointment two weeks post-surgery… but a) scheduling that is the same phone number that I hadn’t gotten a call back from; b) I can’t really wait that long, because that means I can’t even submit the request until the point when my leave is supposed to be ending.

She then told me that I should just visit my PCP and have them sign it instead. So I explained that unfortunately I do not have a PCP.

So she said, all right, I might be able to set up an appointment with the surgical team to sign it sooner if that was what I needed. Of course no one was available at the time (which I didn’t *not* expect; it was a Sunday at a religious hospital, and I’m sure that most of the emergency surgery team tends to be busy doing emergency surgeries rather than sitting around to do paperwork.) She told me to CALL, DO NOT JUST SHOW UP at the surgical clinic on Monday morning. Perhaps their Friday had just gotten away from them, and they’d probably return my call on Monday anyway.

I was still super easily exhausted at this point, and was tired and in pain and ready to be the fuck done. It also started snowing really hard and the roads got bad fast, so we headed home.

(I then did not sleep at all well; partially due to my sleep schedule being janked to hell, but partially because I just stayed awake to worry about this shit.)

Monday

I called the surgery clinic. Got the same voicemail message DO NOT CALL MORE THAN ONCE, DO NOT LEAVE MULTIPLE MESSAGES, YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED BY END OF DAY.

I was still just stupid tired at this point, but I turned the volume on my phone up so as to not miss the call back that I would SURELY be getting. I was still anxious about the whole thing, and couldn’t really drop off because I was afraid of missing them if they did call back.

I did not get a call back.

I figured I’d just go to the clinic’s suite number on Tuesday and try to get help in person, despite being told to call, not come in. Calling wasn’t working.

I emailed my HR department, as they were asking if I was still planning to take this leave, or if I was going to use PTO. I let them know that I did want to take leave, just couldn’t get this damn form signed.

I continued to not sleep because I was so damn worried.

Tuesday

At this point I also started to worry that the hospital wouldn’t approve a longer leave than through Wednesday. (Which would be day six post-release from the hospital. The original doctor I had spoken with told me that I was okay to return on Monday, but I do have Mondays and Tuesdays off. Monday had been day four, and I was NOT feeling capable of going to work. I was still having potentially embarrassing races to the bathroom, had functionally zero focus, was falling asleep at unpredictable times, still hadn’t succeeded in eating anything solid beyond a piece of toast soaked in soup…) But because that doctor had given me a return date of Monday, which was on my file, I was afraid that would be the maximum they would give me on the leave form as well. What I *wanted* to ask for was for two weeks post-discharge, so a return date of February 6th. I hoped this would feel like a better amount of time, as well as allowing me to get an all-clear from my follow-up… if I could get that scheduled.

I was also extremely frustrated about not getting a call back, too.

SO! Plan B!

I didn’t have a PCP, but I had been *assigned* a PCP.

I have the cheapest insurance possible through my job, which is United Healthcare’s “Navigate” plan. One of the main “features” of this plan is that they assign you to a PCP, and *all* care must be done through *that* PCP. They must write any referrals to other specialists or providers.

I’d been assigned to the same guy for three years now, I just hadn’t ever gone to see him. So I had no PCP, but I was allegedly this guy’s patient. He was highly rated, and very close to where I live. So I figured maybe I’d just swing by his office; I could go in, and see if maybe I could schedule an appointment with him to do the surgical follow-up, or get a referral back to the clinic for that, and perhaps he’d be able to sign the paperwork (even if I did have to wait for that follow up appointment.)

I verified that the office was open.

We headed out, with a couple errands to run. We got to the office around 12:30.

…Their hours are 9 - 12 on Monday - Thursday. They are “clossed” [sic] Friday - Sunday.

12 hours per week???

Ugh. So, I was frustrated, but figure okay. I’d try again on Wednesday, getting up a little earlier.

Wednesday

We headed out, closer to 10:00, to visit “my” PCP.

The receptionist was… a bit cold. I tried to explain my situation, that this doctor was my assigned PCP, but I hadn’t ever established care. That I had emergency surgery and would need to do a follow-up…

She cut me off with “Yeah, the problem is that he’s not taking new patients. I don’t know why insurance keeps assigning him, but you’ll have to find someone else.”

She did suggest trying a clinic down the street that had multiple providers.

I futilely protested that I’d been assigned to him for years, that the United Healthcare site even said he was accepting new patients, that I *can’t* go anywhere else if my insurance said he was the only one I was allowed to see…

She just sort of shrugged and told me good luck.

I headed out to the car and just… cried for a while. At this point I was just so fucking tired and defeated and frustrated. And still felt like shit! Everything still hurt, I was exhausted, I still wasn’t able to eat anything, and this was not what I wanted to be doing, and EVERYTHING just seemed to be as frustrating as it could be. I was not at my best, having to do the sort of thing I struggle with even when I’m NOT recovering from major surgery, and just… was not having a good time.

After a bit, I went onto my insurance company’s website and was able to switch my PCP to the clinic that the receptionist had mentioned. You’re only allowed to switch once every 30 days, so that was a bit of a gamble, but it did allow me to pick the *clinic,* so as long as they had one provider that would see me, I hoped it would work out.

At this point I was still crying every time I even sort of thought about the whole situation, and tried to get it together well enough to go to the other clinic.

Eventually I held it together enough. The receptionist I talked to was very kind. She got me set up in their system, and told me they could definitely get me in within the week to do an intake appointment. She did tell me they’d have to do that and *then* schedule the surgery and paperwork appointments, which was fine.

She told me there was actually a nurse who could see me later that afternoon if I’d come back.

Yes, I would come back. I just wanted this done, and the promise of MAYBE finally having someone actually help me was at least a small bit of hope.

Went back for my later appointment. The assistant who took my vitals reiterated that I’d have to make a separate surgical follow up and paperwork appointment. My blood pressure was somehow normal, though I am dismally dismayed by my weight.

Finally the nurse came in to see me. She was quite young. But she started off with “So! Welcome to the ‘adult appendectomy’ club!”

The relief I releft, lol.

(She apparently dealt with hers for a *week* in nursing school, feeling like she was dying, before going to the hospital. She kept being told it was just stress, or just being a hypochondriac because of what she was studying! Then hers was almost the same as mine, having already perforated and abscessed by the time they went in to remove it.)

She said she was concerned about my anxiety and depression screening questions… which ask about basically how miserable you’ve been for the last two weeks, which for me was almost entirely taken up by being cripplingly, painfully sick, then being in the hospital, then being stressed as hell about sorting out this leave and follow-up stuff. I had written “there are extenuating circumstances” at the bottom of the forms, lol. She was glad I didn’t think that was actually typical for me.

As we chatted, even though it wasn’t supposed to be more than the intake, she asked how I was doing from the surgery, and she took a look at the incision sites. She told me to walk a lot more to help with the bloating (which is largely from the amount of air that gets pumped in when the surgery is done, and it’s just gotta work its way out.) Otherwise, everything looked good. While it was only 10 days (not 14) post-surgery, she said that everything really looked and sounded like it was healing on the normal timeline. She said that unless something changed, she didn’t think I needed to make another appointment for just a few more days out, and could treat this as my follow-up. However, if I was still struggling in another week or two to get back to a normal diet, then I should make another appointment.

I asked her about the paperwork, and she said yes, I’d have to make another appointment for that. If I wanted to, I could even just drop the form off for her and make an appointment to pick it up.

“I have the form with me, if you want me to leave it now?”

“…Yeah, let me take a look. The only other thing I’ll need is your records from the hospital, which will take some time to get. But once we do, we can have this done by next week, I’m sure.”

“Well… I have my hospital discharge paperwork, if that helps.”

“…Let me see?”

She took a look and said, “You know, this is enough. You’ve been nice to me, I remember how miserable the recovery was. I can just get this signed now, if you don’t mind waiting a few minutes. How long did you want?”

I told her that I was really hoping for through the 5th, two weeks after my discharge.

She said that seemed perfectly fair.

I WAS SO RELIEVED. YOU DO NOT KNOW. NONE of this had been easy, and someone finally helped make something easy.

(She actually ended up signing it through the 6th, though I’ll work a half day that day, just so I have a chance to get caught back up before being with the still brand new person for the weekend.)

I’m not much of a “things work out the way they’re meant to” type… but when I did make another appointment to see this nurse sometime in March to do a regular physical (because I really should get some of the medical care that I’ve neglected for more than 15 years at this point), I was told she works every day except Tuesday. So if I HAD made it to the other doctor’s office the previous day, and they’d referred me to this clinic, this nurse I saw would not have been there.

After, I went back to my mom’s to scan the document, so I could get it uploaded.

At this point, I was exhausted. While I hadn’t been eating much anyway, I’d wound up being out of the house and not eating anything for about 8 hours, and I was wiped. I decided to work on the application the next day, because I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t screw something up, as exhausted as I was.

Thursday

Time to try and finish the fucking application, a full week after I got out of the hospital, after having had to work on getting things nearly every damn day.

…And it told me I needed that notarized attestation of identity document. I didn’t even get the chance to answer questions this time, it just had me take pictures of my ID and a selfie and said it couldn’t verify my identity, so I had to print off the attestation and get it notarized.

So back to my mom’s to print and take it to a notary.

Went to my credit union, only had to wait a few minutes. Got the form notarized, went back to my mom’s to scan it, uploaded it, and FINALLY FINISHED THE APPLICATION.

Friday

…Until Friday morning, when I woke up to automated texts and emails telling me that I had “important communication about my FAMLI leave.”

According to them, there was a notary error on my attestation of identity: the notary’s printed name and her notary stamp name didn’t match. (She didn’t print her middle name. On the world’s smallest blank line that they provide for the name.)

FUCK EVERYTHING FOREVER.

BACK to the credit union, get the same notary. She said she’s NEVER had anything returned to her for that reason, and that the notary standards they claim were broken don’t actually say anything about that. She even showed me the state notary letter, which only talks about the standard being signature matching. She apologized and made sure to include her middle name.

UGH WHATEVER.

Went to fix it, and the upload process was unclear. The spot where it asks you to reupload only has a text box. Afraid of fucking it up, I called their help number. Was on hold for twenty minutes, but finally did get someone, who said yeah, he gets several calls about this per day. You have to enter something in the text box, and then it will allow you to move on to a second page that has a spot to upload the document.

So I finally did that. By that point it was getting near the end of the day, so I didn’t expect there’d be a chance to have anyone look at it again until Monday.

Saturday and Sunday I ignored all of this entirely.


Monday (today):

I didn’t hear anything new from the FAMLI agency. I let my manager know my return date. I let my HR department know that I had submitted the leave application.

My HR rep let me know that I will probably get a denial letter from them at some point, but that it’s not legitimate; everyone has been getting them, and it has to do with the fact we switched from a private insurer to the state system, and they really just need extra info from the company.

So I’m waiting for that.

THIS HAS BEEN SO FRUSTRATING.

I’m relieved that I’ve basically done as much as I can at this point, and that my return date is Friday for just a half day. I hope to get as much rest as I can the next couple of days before I have to go back.

I’m still hurting, but it’s mostly just achey and bruised feeling, nothing sharp or concerning. I’m mostly meeting with success in reintroducing foods, though my appetite is a bit unpredictable. Guts are still not right, but seem to be improving slowly. Going on more walks does seem to be helping, and at least we've had a couple pretty nice days. I’m still very tired basically all the time, which is annoying, but I’m trying to push through.

(I’m also still SO BEHIND ON EVERYTHING. I’m trying to get caught up, but even minor things wear me out and take three times as long as I think they should. I promise, I’m trying to get caught up! I will!)

2026 February Questions Meme

3 Feb 2026 12:12 am
pattrose: (Blair Cute)
[personal profile] pattrose
Is there a book you’ve seen made into a film and been disappointed with the result?

I think books are always better than a movie but I can’t think of one that disappointed me. I’ll think of a bunch later. 😁

WTF

3 Feb 2026 01:08 am
soc_puppet: A crude pencil drawing on lined paper of what's supposed to be a dog; the dog's mouth and eyes are on one side of its face, while its snout is on the other. (Art time!)
[personal profile] soc_puppet
Downright astounding that I managed to forget about basting stitches for nigh on two decades.

On the plus side, now that I've remembered them, patching the worn out inner thighs of my pants is much less of a headache!
mific: (Heated rivalry)
[personal profile] mific posting in [community profile] fanart_recs
Fandom: Heated Rivalry
Characters/Pairing/Other Subject: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
Content Notes/Warnings: none
Medium: digital art
Artist on DW/LJ: n/a
Artist Website/Gallery: rombutan on Instagram
Why this piece is awesome: A lovely double portrait of Shane and Ilya hugging. The artist has several more artworks in the fandom on their Instagram.
Link: his dose of sunshine on Instagram, and reposted on tumblr here

Don Carlo (Vienna 2024)

2 Feb 2026 10:28 pm
cahn: (Default)
[personal profile] cahn
okay I had SO many feelings about this 2024 Vienna Don Carlo. Watching another whole Don Carlo in early 2026 was not actually in my plans (having watched lots of bits and pieces in late 2025), but uh I may have written a fic involving a fictional staging of this opera that doubled the role of Posa, and then [a03.org profile] Ladybug_21 mentioned that they'd heard of a production with doubles of all the historical characters -- meaning not Posa but the other main characters -- and of course I had to go find it. I am here to report that it is this absolutely wild regie modern AU that I adored and found completely riveting. Those of you who dislike regie would greatly dislike it (although the singing is great, consider listening to the audio) and those of you who like regie would quite enjoy it, I think. The director is Kirill Serebrennikov, and now I want to see any opera he ever does. I found the staging (with a couple of exceptions) a rather coherent and fascinating concept.

(So as to put this outside of the cut: this is the 4-act version. Joshua Guerrero is Carlo, Étienne Dupuis is Rodrigo, Roberto Tagliavini is Filippo, Asmik Grigorian is Elisabetta, and Eve-Maud Hubeaux is Eboli. I had not heard or watched any of them except Dupuis, but I thought all of them were great, the singing was just gorgeous and their acting is wonderful too. I am really loving the modern trend of opera singers being great actors.)

I went in unspoiled except for the above and LOVED being unspoiled, so I'm putting all of this under cut, just in case -- spoilers for the entire production. )But tl;dr: I did feel like the updating of the setting did drive home what an opera of big themes and big emotions Don Carlo is, and how the relationships (except for Filippo-Rodrigo, in this production) drive the big emotions that drive the opera. (Interestingly, the singers don't touch very much; Rodrigo and Carlo do a little, and Elisabetta and Carlo touch hands very briefly in their last duet, and then of course embrace right before Filippo walks in -- but as opposed to that heartbreaking Bastille Don Carlos I saw, it still all works without the touching, and just highlights how our society is much less touchy-feely than it could be.

I really liked it, and I was both thinking about it days later and humming little bits of the score.

A Long, Dry January

2 Feb 2026 10:24 pm
rimrunner: (Default)
[personal profile] rimrunner
After a December where it rained so much and so hard that river valleys flooded and levees breached, it’s been weirdly dry in the Pacific Northwest. A near-record streak of rainless days broke a few days ago, but it’s been so warm that the mountains still have way less snow than usual. (That was part of what caused the flooding; instead of snow, all that precipitation fell as rain, which then ran downhill through stream and river courses at flood volumes.) If that doesn’t change, this coming summer is going to suck; mountain snowpack accounts for the region’s water supply, and increasingly dry summers have been making for apocalyptic wildfire seasons. When I moved to western Washington in the mid 90s, smoke season wasn’t a thing. Now it is.

January 2026 simultaneously lasted several months and was gone in a flash. I think the weather has something to do with my distorted perception of time right now; that, and it’s the one thing I’ve noticed lingering for me personally since the first year of COVID. Which is odd, because I spent much of that year running around in the woods, practicing nature connection routines, and in generally living much more by nature’s markers of time than I do now.

Maybe I should go back to that.

The other thing affecting my perception of time are recent events across the country and around the world. I watched the videos of Renée Good being shot more times than was probably good for me, until I realized that more viewings would bring no more clarity. Clarity is a thing lacking from the current administration, which lies like it breathes, reflexively advancing a narrative wherein its every action is justified regardless of the evidence.

I used to think I’d never have to explain why that’s a bad thing, but here we are: even if I were a fan of Donald Trump and all his works (and, to be clear, it’s been obvious to me what sort of person he is since 1989), the immediate promulgation of an unverifiable and in most cases manifestly untrue narrative serves no one—including the current administration, which seems hard pressed to understand why it isn’t more popular. They are creating a situation not only where they cannot be trusted, but where a significant number of people will assume that everything they say is a lie whether or not it actually is. The boy who cried wolf has nothing on this.

Doomscrolling can make a day feel like a year, and there’s no bottom to it.

I did, in the early part of the month, intentionally spend some slow time: reflecting, resting, goal setting. Perhaps that made the month longer, but it was necessary after burning myself out before and during the holidays. My family is going through a hard time that we aren’t really talking about, and dealing with that doesn’t leave much for other hard things. Yet more revelations that the world is run by monsters, for instance.

There was a time, when I was very young, when I thought monsters were fiction.

It’s been a long, dry January, and unlike other parts of the country, we’re still kind of waiting for winter to start here.

Still waiting for the snow, and possibly an avalanche.

[community profile] proshipfest

2 Feb 2026 11:13 pm
pattrose: (Default)
[personal profile] pattrose
Yesterday and today's links to my prompts being filled. [community profile] proshipfest



1. https://archiveofourown.org/works/78744006 Prompt: Favorite Dinner Fic
2. https://archiveofourown.org/works/78824806 Prompt: Exclusive or no Moodboard
dustbunny105: (Default)
[personal profile] dustbunny105 posting in [community profile] halfamoon
Title: Business Before Pleasure
Fandom: Transformers (Sunbow G1)
Character(s): Chromia, Firestar, Elita One
Rating: PG
Summary: Not long after losing the Ark crew, Firestar is keen to steal a few moments of fun. Chromia isn't so sure, especially when they find themselves suddenly under Elita One's scrutiny.
Notes: Also for "Chromia, Firestar and Elita One; business before pleasure" at fembot_prompts on Tumblr.

Read more... )

Wildlife

3 Feb 2026 12:06 am
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
Hundreds of new species found in a hidden world beneath the Pacific

As demand for critical metals grows, scientists have taken a rare, close look at life on the deep Pacific seabed where mining may soon begin. Over five years and 160 days at sea, researchers documented nearly 800 species, many previously unknown. Test mining reduced animal abundance and diversity significantly, though the overall impact was smaller than expected. The study offers vital clues for how future mining could reshape one of the planet’s most fragile ecosystems.


Bluntly put, mining would destroy that very delicate ecosystem, and it would not recover. Also the ocean as a whole is struggling to cope with the damage humanity has already caused, and hasn't got the fault tolerance left to cover more.

Mixed emotions

3 Feb 2026 12:10 am
silver_chipmunk: (Default)
[personal profile] silver_chipmunk
Got up this morning at 10:00, had breakfast and coffee, and called [personal profile] mashfanficchick. Ze said to call back at 3:00 cause ze was still sleeping.

So I took a shower and washed my hair and dressed. The I decided to change the light bulb in my living room ceiling lamp. Not the bulb I just replaced awhile ago, there's two bulbs in the lamp. Anyway, I got up on the ladder and unscrewed the knob that holds the glass dome on the lamp... and the knob slipped out of my hand and fell. No big deal, I thought, I heard it hit the floor, it can't have gone far...

I can't find it. I have searched and searched and searched, Under things, moved things, cleaned, everything, everywhere I can think that it could possibly be, I can't put the dome back on without the knob to hold it in place...

It is amazingly frustrating and annoying, I can't stop looking. I finally made myself put the ladder away and do other things til 3:00 when I called [Unknown site tag]. Ze was still sleeping but I HAD to get out of the apartment an stop looking for that knob. So I said I'd come over anyway.

Which I did. Ze was still sleeping so I let myself in and settled down and played on my phone. I ate snacks, and played solitaire. Finally at 7:00 I Teamed the FWiB and ze got up.

I got off with the FWiB at 8:00 cause there was something on TV he wanted to see, and [personal profile] mashfanficchick and I started planning dinner.

We decided on sushi, and ordered it, hung out til it arrived, and then ate.

After we finished we hung out for awhile more while ze got ready to spend a week cat sitting at zer friend's place.

Finally, at a bit after 11:00 I Ubered home. Where I have still been trying to figure where that knob could have gotten to.

Anyway, that was the day. I called the Kid but she didn't pick up. I got texted by someone from my Saturday meeting, which was nice.

Gratitude List:

1. The FWiB.

2. [personal profile] mashfanficchick.

3. Clean hair.

4. Sushi.

5. The people in my meetings.

6. Bed soon.

Holiday Poetry Sale

2 Feb 2026 11:06 pm
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
With today's posts, all sponsored poems from the 2025 Holiday Poetry Sale have been posted.  You can now check the sale page for title links to see if you missed any earlier.
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This poem came out of the January 7, 2025 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from [personal profile] helgatwb. It also fills the "Plunging Hoofs" square in my 1-1-25 card for the Public Domain Day Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by a pool with [personal profile] fuzzyred.


"To the Beat of Plunging Hooves"
-- an indriso


History is often late
To record what's done or said
By the needful, not the great.

Soleated, harnessed, led
Horses drive the wheels of fate
From behind or by the head.

History, like mountains, moves

To the beat of plunging hooves.

cornerofmadness: (winter wonderland)
[personal profile] cornerofmadness
Now I haven't lost my mind... maybe. I'm looking at the weather for tomorrow and it says rain and then snow. Excuse me? It's been under 30 for nearly 2 weeks. Let's leave it there. I DO NOT WANT RAIN and then snow. holy shit the ice is thick enough. (the poor grounds keepers were watching me trying to get across the ice floe apologizing. We can't get it off!) Snow, go for it. Rain first, go fuck yourself Mother Nature. No one wants that.

Speaking of DNW, my students some day. So I've been preparing to flip my lab to mondays. We talked about it in Dec. We talked about it the first two weeks. Today is the first day we did it (snowed out last monday) and one of the students goes 'i have class in that time period. OMFG. WHY did you wait until now to tell me? I'm speaking with the chair/dean because in the original position upwards of half the class will miss every lab. If I move it only 1 misses, the one who didn't tell me about this class. I'm gonna go out and sleep on the ice.

I'm at the point in my reading journey where I'm not liking a book but all my friends love it and now I feel pressured.

I made a real milk hot chocolate. At least this didn't have the same weird taste to me BUT my lactose pills did nothing. Someone is playing cat's cradle with my stomach. Way to fail me



it's music monday 30 weeks of music. This week's prompt is 12 A song from the 90s. Share your faves too.

I'm breaking this into two under here, the rock-pop ones and the country )





here's the whole prompt list

it's under here )


And I have decided to do a new declutter project but rather than talk about what I'm tossing, my plan is to pick ONE thing a day to red up. Some things will get tossed. Others will be put away correctly. Etc.

today - cleared up the top of the dresser. Found many earrings that had been missing. My mother mentioned a friend of hers in NC has an abused women's shelter that takes jewelry and clothing to get these women back on their feet, give them something to wear to job interviews etc. I wonder if I have something like that hear because I need to dump half of these earrings and I don't want to toss them in the trash

*Plonk*

2 Feb 2026 08:50 pm
[syndicated profile] jwz_blog_feed

Posted by jwz

There have been exactly two innovations in web browsers in the last 16 years:

  1. "Show Reader Automatically" in 2010;
  2. "Hide Distracting Items" in 2024.

Everything else has either been a waste of goddamned time, or actively malicious. Mostly the latter.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

[admin post] Admin Post: [#289 | Hot Cocoa] Amnesty Post

2 Feb 2026 10:24 pm
fanweeklymod: (Default)
[personal profile] fanweeklymod posting in [community profile] fandomweekly
Since we only have two fills this week, we won't have a voting round. Feel free to post any more fills for prompt #289 over the next couple days; challenge #290 will be up at the usual time, 9pm EST on Wednesday!
dialecticdreamer: My work (Default)
[personal profile] dialecticdreamer
Breakfast Plans
By Dialecticdreamer/Sarah Williams
Part 1a of 1
Word count (story only): 508
[Wednesday, May 13, 2020, 6 am]


:: After a very long day, the Teagues and Amber try to start afresh. Part of the Edison’s Mirror (Teague Family) story arc. ::




Ed lifted out the last two slices of toast, glancing over at Vic as he added the third egg to the pan of simmering water. “Poached eggs? Are you planning eggs and soldiers?”

“Pretty much. It’s fast, fairly easy, and I can fancy it up in just a few more minutes. Do you want to make the soldiers? The quick way is to cut the slice in half vertically, then cut each half in half again, If you’re confident with the knife, you can cut three slices at a time and the edges will be clean instead of jagged.”
Read more... )

2 Feb 2026 06:54 pm
greenstorm: (Default)
[personal profile] greenstorm
I don't have a keyboard right now -- my old laptop died and another hasn't finished being acquired yet -- but my aunt Katherine is dead. She's the first person who took me to see live music, dressed up in pretty flowing clothing and sat on the grass listening to fiddles and choirs. She would have gone without accompaniment but she brought me with her as a... Twelve year old? Maybe younger?

She was always kind. Starting at her house was the only time I ever slept on a waterbed. She did things she loved, and she did things out of conscience and a morality I resonate with, and she had joy and community.

She was my dad's cousin and I wonder sometimes how the family could diverge so much.

She bought my pottery and used it and told me how much joy it brought her.

She never had an obligation to me and I never had an obligation to her, but we were in each other's lives a little and it brought joy, and her life helped show me what was possible.

She was a real person and a wonderful one, and she's died how she wanted, with her loved ones around her, and I feel this huge grief. Not for her, but for myself. I'm lucky to have known her.

And some part of me, honed my whole life and that I thought was gone sauce the PMDD meds worked, looks at my grief and marvels that it feels just the same. This real, legitimate grief feels just the same as I felt every month for my adolescent and adult life. It's been awhile but the feeling still flips the observer on in my mind and evaluates. The grief can never go, of course, it can just be recorded as more information. And that information is that I miss my aunt very much.

fic roundup: January 2026

2 Feb 2026 09:57 pm
greetingsfrommaars: ichihara yuuko from the manga xxxholic (Default)
[personal profile] greetingsfrommaars
This is actually partially a roundup for November/December, sort of, because it includes the recs I was holding in reserve out of an abundance of caution for exchange anonymity. Also, the 2026 round of Bloody Hearts Bingo has just started!

[ BTOB ]



And What a Privilege it is to Love by climbingvines, Straytease

Omegaverse and idolverse AU with established Eunkwang/Minhyuk, where idol groups are also packs. The fic incorporates pack stuff into the in-universe kpop industry, and I was surprised by its straightforwardness about groups with members who have had a scandal and left the group (but remain in the pack, here). I like the added omegaverse layer to the main relationship and to Eunkwang being a leader.

and more for Ateez, DC )

[ Resources ]



So You Want To Participate In A Fandom Exchange by silveradept

I'm including this one on its own because it's not a fic, strictly speaking. A clear guide to nominations, signups, pinch hits, and more! I would have found this really helpful if I'd known about it before the first time I joined such an exchange.

posting to clear the earworm

2 Feb 2026 08:46 pm
lannamichaels: (wtf)
[personal profile] lannamichaels


I have had this song stuck in my head on and off for days upon days, so here is a post to maybe make it go awayyyyy



-Lovers in a Dangerous Time


(also randomly having johnny are you queer in my head but at least that one can be banished if I try hard enough)

Sick Day

2 Feb 2026 08:46 pm
days_unfolding: (Default)
[personal profile] days_unfolding
Emailed in sick. I’m going to feed the fur faces and go back to bed. Oliver will abandon his food and follow me to see what I’m doing. Curious cat.

I had set my alarm for 11:30 AM to check if I felt up to working. The reminder on my phone went off at 10:15, but I thought that it was 11:30. I emailed in sick for the afternoon. I woke up again when I thought that someone was knocking at the door, but no one was there. Then at 11:30, I shut my alarm off and slept until 1. Ate lunch.

My dad sent me an email that he was worried because he hadn’t heard from me for a while “and there’s all that crazy weather”. I told him that I was fine.

Told my choir director that I wasn’t going to make it to choir.

Napped and woke up at 5:30 PM. The dogs don’t want to come inside. “Mommy, it’s warmer!” It is warmer (28F/-2C). Gracie finally came inside and ate. Fed us all.

I remembered to pull market stats from WSJ’s site. Go me.

I want to make apple fritters, so I bought a deep fryer on Mercari. I need to submit a grocery order (done).

I'm going to go back to bed.

Second of the second.

2 Feb 2026 08:42 pm
hannah: (Toast and butter - obsessiveicons)
[personal profile] hannah
Dinner plans shifted about halfway through cooking: I'd planned to make boxed macaroni and cheese with some vegetables added in, but the vegetables ended up smelling so good, I ditched the cheese. Sauteed onions, garlic, and herbs with rapini and canned tomatoes might've taken well to the cheese sauce, but I'm pleased at how it came out just the same.

My new plan is to make boxed macaroni and cheese with double the cheese sauce at some point in the future, and feel absurdly luxurious for being able to do so.
[personal profile] mimihylea posting in [community profile] 10trueloves
Title: Don't Lose Yourself Looking For Answers
Fandom: Leverage
Character: Eliot Spencer (& Mr. Quinn)
Theme Set: 4
Prompt: Surprise
Rating: T
Warnings: Guns, off-page gun-violence
Summary: Eliot locks himself away after Hardison gets wounded on his watch. Parker calls in some back-up.

Read on AO3

Iris

2 Feb 2026 05:14 pm
ranunculus: (Default)
[personal profile] ranunculus
This is for  [personal profile] kaishin108  I think you need to replant the iris in your bed.  There seem to be some amazing ones out there!  This is Day By the Bay.



I don't know the name of this iris, but I have a couple and love them.


2025 Books

2 Feb 2026 04:46 pm
spiralicious: Kuroshitsuji Characters in School Garb (Kuro Geek)
[personal profile] spiralicious
In 2024, I overwhelmed myself with the number of reading challenges I was doing, was in 5 book clubs at one point, and was trying to keep up with tracking things on Beanstack and Good Reads. And while I met my reading goals, I could not keep up with tracking things all the places and I didn't claim a lot of challenges I actually finished.

Because of all that, in 2025, I stepped back and only tracked my reading on physical book tracking booksmarks (just title, date finished, & number of stars), was only in one book club, and didn't join any year long challenges. (I did do the summer bookopoly reading challenge for July only, the library card bingo challenge for September only, and the Unwrap A Great Read challenge for December only hosted by my local library.)

I managed to read more than I have in years.

Here is what I read in 2025. A couple books might be missing from the list.


graphic novels
Lumberjanes Vol. 18: Horticultural Horizons by Shannon Watters, Kat Leyh, Kanesha C. Bryant, & Julia Madrigal
The Umbrella Academy Volume 1: Apocalypse Suite by Gerard Way & Gabriel Bá (Pub Grub Book Club)
Lumberjanes Vol. 19: A Summer to Remember by Shannon Watters and Kat Leyh
Graceling (graphic novel adaptation) by Kristin Cashore, adapted and illustrated by Gareth Hinds (Pub Grub Book Club)
Lighter Than My Shadow by Katie Green (Pub Grub Book Club)
Bea Wolf by Zach Weinersmith & Boulet (Pub Grub Book Club)
Lumberjanes Vol. 20: End of Summer by Shannon Watters, Kat Leyh, Gus Allen, Alexa Bosy, & Kanesha C. Bryant
The Dark Matter of Mona Starr by Laura Lee Gulledge (Pub Grub Book Club)
My Favorite Thing is Monsters Book 2 by Emil Ferris
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic vol. 16 by Paul Allor, Toni Kuusiste, Heather Breckel, Jeremy Whitley, Ted Anderson, Andy Price, Tom Zahler, & Agnes Garbowska
Paper Girls #1 by Brian K. Vaughan & Cliff Chiang (Pub Grub Book Club)
Check Please! Book 1: #Hockey by Ngozi Ukazu
Escape From St. Hell by Lewis Hancox
Heartstopper vol. 4 by Alice Oseman
Mamo by Sas Milledge
Brooms by Jasmine Walls (Pub Grub Book Club)
Suitor Armor volume 1 by Purpan
I am Not Starfire by Mariko Tamaki & art by Yoshi Yoshitani
Slaughterhouse-Five; or, the Children's Crusade: A Duty-Dance with Death (graphic novel adaptation) by Kurt Vonnegut, adaptation by Ryan North & illustrated by Albert Monteys
Rainbow vol. 1 by Sunny & Gloomy
Navigating With You by Jeremy Whitley, art by Cassio Ribeiro, & lettering by Nikki Foxrobot
Pulp by Ed Brubaker & Sean Phillips
Space Boy vol. 1 by Stephen McCranie
We are not Strangers by Josh Tuininga
Beneath the Trees Where Nobody Sees by Patrick Horvath (Pub Grub Book Club)
Delicious in Dungeon vol 1 by Ryoko Kui
Check Please! Book 2: Sticks & Scones by Ngozi Ukazu
Backflash by Mat Johnson & art by Steve Lieber (Pub Grub Book Club)
Suitor Armor vol 2 by Purpah
Fall Through by Nate Powell (Pub Grub Book Club)
The Mushroom Knight vol. 1 by Oliver Bly
Heavy Vinyl vol. 1 by Carly Usdin & Vakueva & Flores & Nalty
Monstress Book One by Marjorie Liu (Pub Grub Book Club)
Leap by Simina Popescu
Mall Goth by Kate Leth
Eight Billion Genies (complete collection) by Charles Soule & Ryan Browne (Pub Grub Book Club)
Lumberjanes: The Infernal Compass by Lilah Sturges
Lumberjanes: The Shape of Friendship by Lilah Sturges
Garbage Night: The Complete Edition by Benji Lee
Final Cut by Charles Burns
The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy at All vol. 1 by Sumiko Arai
The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy at All vol. 2 by Sumiko Arai

non-fiction
This Book is Gay by Juno Dawson (updated edition 2021)
The T in LGBT by Jamie Raines
The Art of Drag by Jake Hall & art by Sofie Birkin, Helen Li, Jasiyot Singh Hans, & more
GuRu by Rupaul

fiction
The Black Girl Survives This One edited by Desiree S. Evans & Saraciea J. Fennell
Number One Chinese Restaurant by Lillian Li
Space Opera by Catherynne M. Valente
The Magnolia Sword: A Ballad of Mulan by Sherry Thomas
Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata
Juliet Takes a Breath by Gabby Rivera
We Contain Multitudes by Sarah Henstra
What If It's Us by Becky Albertalli & Adam Silvera
The Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi
Where Wolves Don't Die by Anton Treuer
The Restaurant of Lost Recipes by Hisashi Kashiwai
The Kingdom of Sweets by Erika Johansen (Unwrap A Great Read)
Hemlock & Silver by T. Kingfisher (Unwrap A Great Read)
Stuck With You by Nathan Burgoine
Bad Dreams in the Night by Adam Ellis
Hockey Girl Loves Drama Boy by Faith Erin Hicks

children's
Monstrous: The Lore, Gore, and Science Behind Your Favorite Monsters by Carlyn Beccia
Death & Sparkles Book 1 by Rob Justus
Shark Lady: The True Story of How Eugenie Clark Became the Ocean's Most Fearless Scientist by Jess Keating & illustrations by Marta Álvarez Miguéns
Halloween and Day of the Dead Traditions from Around the World by Joan Axelrod-Contrada & illustrated by Elisa Chavarri
The Pumpkin Book by Gail Gibbons
Digestion the Musical by Adam Rex & illustrated by Laura Park
Spooky Lakes: 25 Strange and Mysterious Lakes That Dot Our Planet by Geo Rutherford
Shark Week: Everything You Need to Know (Discovery) by Martha Brockenbrough
The Constitution Explained! The Bill of Rights: Guaranteeing Liberty by Janey Levy
You Rule! Create Your Own Country (Lonely Planet Kids) by Scott Forbes & Emma Laura Jones
Cool Sleeping by Alex Kushowski
How to Build Your Own Country by Valerie Wyatt
Moomin The Complete Tove Jansson Comic Strip Volume 1 by Tove Jansson
New Year Traditions Around the World by Ann Malaspina
Moomin The Complete Tove Jansson Comic Strip Volume 2 by Tove Jansson

comics
The Batman Chronicles no. 7 winter 97

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