Where do I sign up?

[firecat]

I decided I needed to start using deodorant again and was looking at some of the ones branded "for men." I couldn’t stop laughing.

Some highlights:

• "Fresh notes of kelp" (I like the smell of kelp but I so DO NOT want to smell like kelp).
• "Scent: Arctic Edge" (because when I get up in the morning, nothing gives me that cheery boost more than thinking about being impaled by a stalactite).
• There's a brand "happy nuts"—OK, that’s more cute than WTF, but this brand calls its bar soap "man slab."

Where do I apply for the job of naming and describing personal care products for men, and do they supply the weed or is one expected to bring one’s own?

Comments

[which_chick]

I discussed the Dr. Squatch (they make Manly-Flavored soaps for Manly people) marketing here but the tl-dr part is Now, while I am not a man, I like scented soaps a lot. I don't like them seven dollars a bar and I totally fund my soap addiction without spending that much per bar... but dudes are maybe not aware of the fifty thousand flavors of scented soaps out there. Maybe they think seven dollars is a good price for a large, square soap with a manly scent. Maybe they pay that much because they want a soap that promises to wash away everything except toxic masculinity because that's the thing supporting its insane price point.

Dr. Squatch is currently pushing a Star Wars themed family of soaps. The ads are hysterical.

Anyway, in this sector of business, I think you are expected to provide your own weed, commuter bike, and man bun. The office provides both coffee and Red Bull. You get Casual Friday but also Casual Rest-of-the-week as well. Job is somewhere in the PNW.

[firecat]

DEEP SEA GOATS MILK

[which_chick]

Alas they are now eight dollars a bar, inflation. I thought you were kidding about the Deep Sea Goats Milk. You were not kidding.

[firecat]

I’m tempted to buy it so they can keep their naming committee supplied with what they need

[alexcat]

My hubby uses Dove deodorant in the unscented variety... no Man slab or Ball Wash for him. Scented ones seem to cause underarm itching for him.

[firecat]

I am not surprised your husband is a sensible sort, and I’m glad you don’t have to deal with the scent of something called Happy Nuts.

(If Tony Stark we’re going to produce a men’s cosmetic product, what would it be, what would it smell like, and what would he name it?)

[azurelunatic]

"Justin Hammer has a fragrance line. Why can't I have a fragrance line?"

Pepper would hire a suitable fragrance house to develop some scents and a separate marketing group to brainstorm names based on the scents.

Tony would reject all the scents that made him sneeze, and ultimately go with a light cucumber-melon citrus that was only tossed in the mix to make the Manly Scents seem that much more Manly in comparison, because it smelled like a cocktail he'd enjoy. He called it Five O'Clock, and that stuck through several layers of marketing.

Subsequent scents and names were chosen by each of his bots.

[firecat]

Brilliant!!!

[ellenmillion]

I use BearGlove from Old Spice. "The fresh, confident scent that demands respect and then eats it."

(But I like the smell and don't like antiperspirant and ladies deodorant-only is blech.)

[firecat]

I can’t decide between Krakengarde and Nightpanther…

[which_chick]

These are real marketing names. I thought again that you were kidding. Probably I need to spend more time in the personal care items for men aisle, where people will think I am shopping for my son. (I don't have a son.)

[firecat]

That sounds like a fun pastime!

[silveradept]

I wish I knew, but I suspect the weed is BYO, just because most places still say you can't be high at work or in public.

[firecat]

Shame!

[pameladean]

I've been giggling intermittently over this entry for some time.

I get my deodorant products from a company called Lume, which doesn't actually gender any of them. It's very refreshing.

P.

[firecat]

Glad it tickles your funny bone!

Lume is also on my radar. But I think a squirt bottle would work best for me and they don’t offer their products in that formulation.

[pameladean]

I wouldn't mind a squirt bottle myself, but the main reason I use Lume is that it works on me. I used one of those goofy crystals that you wet down and rub on yourself, for decades. One day, it stopped working. I tried the stick deodorants I tended to take camping, since wetting down a lump of rock while camping is slightly annoying. Those had also stopped working. I found a blog post by somebody who did get paid to talk about products online, but also just did personal posts, and did not get paid, allegedly, for talking about deodorants. The same thing had happened to her, and she listed six or seven products that she had to alternate amongst because they would all stop working, but would start up again after a hiatus. I'd already tried three of them, so I landed on Lume.

I hope you find a good squirtable product. There are so many out there, but they don't always have the right characteristics.

P.

[firecat]

Fascinating about bodies just waking up one day and deciding “I’ve had enough with this goop on my armpits.”

[senmut]

I needed that laugh, thank you!

[firecat]

Glad it amused you!