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On Monday, I went with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kwamee to IMC for the first time in six or eight weeks. My experience of the sitting was even more chaotic than usual (possibly because I was getting sick; a bad stomach bug hit a few hours later). But there was one clear moment, where I really actually listened to the sound a dry leaf makes rustling on pavement, for the first time ever.
Donald Rothberg was the teacher and he spoke on "Self and Not-Self." (The talk isn't up on the Audio Dharma site yet.) He went about it in a light-hearted way. Going in, I felt like I wasn't particularly confused about this topic—I've experienced in many ways that I don't have an unchanging "self," although I have tendencies and memories and a sense of continuity (or occasionally only a sense that there was continuity that's now been lost) and a sense of individuality or uniqueness. But by the end of the talk, I was confused. Which is probably good. :) Specifically, he seemed to be equating not-self with the state of concentration or flow that some people describe as "losing yourself in" an activity. I'm not sure I think that's the whole story. Maybe I wasn't really understanding what he was saying.
kwamee to IMC for the first time in six or eight weeks. My experience of the sitting was even more chaotic than usual (possibly because I was getting sick; a bad stomach bug hit a few hours later). But there was one clear moment, where I really actually listened to the sound a dry leaf makes rustling on pavement, for the first time ever.Donald Rothberg was the teacher and he spoke on "Self and Not-Self." (The talk isn't up on the Audio Dharma site yet.) He went about it in a light-hearted way. Going in, I felt like I wasn't particularly confused about this topic—I've experienced in many ways that I don't have an unchanging "self," although I have tendencies and memories and a sense of continuity (or occasionally only a sense that there was continuity that's now been lost) and a sense of individuality or uniqueness. But by the end of the talk, I was confused. Which is probably good. :) Specifically, he seemed to be equating not-self with the state of concentration or flow that some people describe as "losing yourself in" an activity. I'm not sure I think that's the whole story. Maybe I wasn't really understanding what he was saying.