firecat

*nod*. exactly. not infrequently i hear people actually JOKE about a teen/man being raped by a female person in power over them -- apparently that is everyone's greatest fantasy, to be done by the teacher or the prison warden. WTF! somebody needs to teach those people about the difference between fantasy and reality; nevermind applying their own fantasies to third parties.

judging from my own circle of acquaintances, rape of men is severely underreported. and if people are upset about women being blamed despite being the victims, they should have a look at what happens to men who were raped. these days women at least are paid some proper attention to by crisis centres; men are often mistreated even by those.

me, i think it's all about the wider part of consent and respecting boundaries, and that's not a gendered thing. a lot of rape isn't the violent stranger kind, it's done by relatives of the person, or some other person in a position of authority.

the violation of my boundaries started with my parents actually punishing me when i resisted having my cheeks pinched by grandma. how was i later gonna tell uncle alfred to back off when he started to fondle me? i had, after all, been taught painfully and persistently that it didn't pay to say "no!" to adults, and that i had no safe boundaries over which they weren't allowed to step.