firecat

*tiny psych wave*

The ability to withstand ambiguity is tied very closely to an the ability to emotionally self-regulate and self-soothe; it's about your personal ability to maintain a consistent, non-distressing internal world despite a sometimes stressful, confusing, or threatening outer environment. The healthiest people can do this at a very high level, able to maintain an essential feeling of self, wellbeing, and control even in very challenging circumstances. However, most people fall short, and maintain equilibrium by having set ways of dealing with the world--when someone calls you a total bitchcow, one might ponder, "Well, I feel that I am essentially good person who is kind to others, but perhaps there is some merit in the perception that I am too forthright and not sensitive enough to others." However, most people default to either, "Oh gosh, I am a total bitchcow, aaaah!" or "What a rude person! I will completely fail to see their point of view as true, because it obviously isn't!" Because ambiguity takes mental effort and sometimes emotional turmoil. Therefore, the less ambiguity you can tolerate, the more mental shortcuts you use--snap judgments, mental heuristics, stock answers--to keep from a constant, exhausting expenditure of mental energy.

The worst extreme of a lack of emotional regulation and inability to tolerate ambiguity is Borderline Personality Disorder, which can be treated. It's the only personality disorder we can reliably treat at this point in time, actually. However, the treatment for it is pretty arduous because it means teaching the very basic skills of self-soothing and identifying motivating emotions and thoughts, and I know therapists who refuse to treat BPD clients at all unless the insurance company can promise them at least two years of weekly sessions.

So no, it's not in the least impossible. In some cases, it's quite difficult--but not at all impossible. The brain is plastic.