Question that's been on my mind lately

[firecat]

Have there been periods of your life when you had no satisfying romantic/sexual relationships, or fewer than you wanted to have (if you're poly)?

How many such "dry" periods have you had in your life?

How long did each of them last?

Was anything in particular going on with you at the time that contributed to the circumstance, as far as you can tell? (Possibilities I can think of include being sick, being busy, moving to an uncongenial location, being socially inexperienced, experiencing a breakup, becoming more picky...etc.)

If this period ended, what circumstances contributed to its ending?

I'll say more about why I am asking this in a future entry.

Comments

[lysana.livejournal.com]

I will speak to being under-partnered rather than non-partnered, since I have had at least one regular lover for my entire adult life (meeting blackfyr when I turned 18 has had its influence on this, y'see ;)).

After first attempting to build an alternate relationship with another woman about 10 years ago and having it fall apart, I had a couple of very doomed brief flings and then nothing until, well, this past week. I spent most of the last 10 years dealing with my personal issues ranging from intimacy to libido malfunction and others. Getting in touch with the local poly community and adding the right people to my Friends list on LiveJournal as well as resubscribing to WomBAT after a years-long absence were the practical steps which allowed me to put my new-found level of emotional health to good use.

I also had a lack of alternate male contact which broke about six months ago after a seven or eight-year gap, but that was less important to me overall. The reasons for the drought and revivification of my involvement are much the same except the alternate male contact I had was a threesome arrangement that simply stopped meeting with no rancor on any side.