Yes!

[firecat]

via eve_l_incarnata:

Quote of the Day - Relationship

"Don't buy a puppy if you can't feed it. Don't start a relationship if you can't be yourself and give your very all." ---Ana Johnson

I think what I especially relate to in this statement is the relationship/puppy analogy.

I know a lot of folks feel that temporary relationships are worthwhile, and I agree if all parties want them to be temporary, but I'm uncomfortable with starting a relationship as a way of "trying on" someone to see if they're compatible, and then throwing away the relationship if they're not. It does feel to me like abandoning something that's alive and can't take care of itself (not the person, but the relationship).

Define "starting a relationship" in the above as whatever you might consider to be an act or set of acts that would create a desire for mutual commitment.

(Note: This is not an attempt at indirect communication with anybody.)

Comments

[red-frog.livejournal.com]

All relationships are temporary--some just last longer than others. My "either you break up or somebody dies" philosophy is not of recent origin.

Generally speaking, I agree with you. I've been giving a lot of thought to this lately since acquiring my whateverI'mcallinghim. I think it very unlikely that we will marry or equivalent and walk off into the sunset together. I don't think that he expects that either. (It's far too soon to ask and I see no reason to.) However, I have responsibilities to him and I care quite a bit about him, and even should we stop sleeping together I'll still care and still have some of those responsibilities--if for no other reason than that we work together and I'm partially responsible for keeping him on track. Those personal and professional responsibilities are among the reasons why I was verrry careful about starting things.

I used to be more careless of relationships than I am now. I would not start a relationship now unless I were confident that I could sustain it at some level should the sexual part end, which means not only being sure of my motives but also being pretty sure of what I was getting into and who my partner was. I just don't see the point.