Question

[firecat]

(inspired by a comment I made in jodawi's journal)

When you break up with someone, do you feel stupid?

As in "I should have known this would happen, why did I bother getting involved," or "I should have prevented what led to this breakup"?

(This is not about anything currently happening in my life.)

Comments

[abostick59.livejournal.com]

Malcolm Gladwell, writing in his book The Tipping Point has a different take on why people feel stupid after a breakup. (He's actually talking about divorce, where two people have been married and living together for some time before splitting up.)

He calls it "transactional memory": the two people unconsciously divvy up the memory tasks between them; e.g. Person A remembers birthdays, social engagements, and what time their favorite TV shows come on, while Person B tracks the bills that need paying, what's running low in the kitchen, and city bus schedules. After the breakup, both of them, who used to be completely competent at running their own lives when they were each single, now are making a muddle of things. Person A misses credit card payments and can't catch a bus to save her life, while Person B's social life goes down the tubes and she spends her time watching Friends reruns and ESPN SportsCenter (but has completely lost track of the story arc of Six Feet Under).

But that's not what you mean by feeling stupid after a breakup, is it?

[firecat]

Hee! No, but that does happen to me when the OH goes out of town.