D/s question

[firecat]

This is prompted by a flame war on alt.polyamory in which someone is objecting in a really rude and obnoxious manner to someone else's 24/7 D/s relationship.

I don't object to consensual relationships of whatever type that work for the people involved.

But the person who's being obnoxious is in fact bringing up a point that I am curious about.



A lot of people use terms such as "slave" and "owner/owned" to describe their D/s relationships.

Historically, slavery was non-consensual, and being owned meant not having much of a say in what happened to you.

But practitioners of D/s usually emphasize that there is choice involved in what they do. Maybe it's a one-time choice, but it's still a choice.

Given the existence of this choice, I don't understand why the word "slave" is used to describe these relationships. It seems a contradiction in terms.

Historically and culturally, there are many types of hierarchical, dominant/submissive, superior/inferior relationships that go by other names. master/pet, master/servant (indentured or otherwise), master/apprentice, sensei/student, lord/vassal, etc. etc. etc.

Those relationships would seem closer to what most D/s actually is than slavery, since those relationships (except "pet") usually involve at least some choice.

So how come (it seems to me) "slave" is more often used?

Comments

[firecat]

But 'slave' also has the connotation of 'being taken care of,' like a harem slave, because your master is responsible for feeding, clothing, protecting, and taking care of you in return for your service to him."

I see. "Slave" does not have those connotations for me. If I wanted to connote those things, I might use "pet," though.

(I'm not saying it's wrong to have those connotations.)

master/slave terminology

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

*nod*. for me neither. and while "master/pet" is something i can handle with some judicious attempt at overlooking the fact that pets have no choice (cause at least we have a humane society), the slave bit just feels like an offensive trivialization of what it means to be a real slave. i think orlando is an obnoxious twit, and i have better manners, but i can't say that i haven't felt like calling a spade a spade at times, so to speak.

and yes, i am a cantankerous, judgmental arse at times -- i don't like sports teams with native american names either. whatever cranks somebody's private moments is zir business, but when one goes public with one's hormonal poetry, well, it can be tempting to comment on one's form.

i sure wish LJ had killfiling ability. and apropos nothing, if i never see this stupid ashanti video again it'll be too soon, oh baby uh baby rock wit U.

Re: master/slave terminology

[eve-l-incarnata.livejournal.com]

the slave bit just feels like an offensive trivialization of what it means to be a real slave.

Thank you for saying that! I brought this up on the discussion "forum" on Polymatchmaker.com some time ago, and people talked around me.