info/research request - fat + poly positive groups

[firecat]

I'm running a Q&A entitled "Fat Positive and Poly Without Drama" at the NAAFA convention next week (August 10-14, near the SF airport).

One of the questions I promised to cover was "how to meet fat-positive poly people", and to that end I've been looking for mailing lists and LiveJournal communities for fat + poly people.

I've only found one (polypaganbbw, a yahoo group) - well, I found another one on Yahoo called bbw_polyamory, but you seem to have to be a member of the group to even look at the group's info page. The only LJ community I found that was even remotely associated was alternacurves, but that seems more associated with the alternative music scene than the alternative [*kof*] lifestyle scene. I've found fat + sex groups but that's not really what I'm looking for.

Of course I know that there are many fat-positive people in the poly communities at large, as well as many poly-positive people in the fat communities. So of course fat + poly groups aren't the only way to meet fat + poly-positive people.

But if you know of any such groups I'd be really grateful to hear about them!

Comments

[jenk]

I was thinking of going to that, but had other plans. cyberangel_ will be selling her jewelry there - be sure to check it out!

[kshandra]

Yeowch. I was thinking about attending, but I can't see going without going to the "extra" events, and I just can't afford a full pass, even with both of us working now.

I'll point yohannon to this post; he's bound to have some resources for you to check out.

[firecat]

Hmm, I don't see it on angelwear's show schedule - are you thinking of Nasfic?

[firecat]

Thanks!

Yeah if you came for Friday or Saturday and just did the dance, it would be $35, but that's not pocket change.

[epi-lj.livejournal.com]

I don't actually know any such groups, but they'd seem a little redundant given the community overlap factor, which I think is enough of a phenomenon to be worth discussing. (The age-old question of, "How come so many people in [subculture X] are also in [subculture Y]?") It seems like the number of poly folk who are also big and sassy is higher than in a random population sampling, and the number of big and sassy people who are also poly is higher than in a random population sampling, so groups that serve one group may also as a side-effect serve well enough for both, without having to be purposed that way. (My theory on it is the standard one most people seem to espouse: That once you've looked deeply enough into yourself to discover something unique about your [sexuality | romantic schema | whatever], you may well find something else while you're at it, assuming there's something else to be found.)

[nellorat.livejournal.com]

I also think that a lot of fat poly people are fulfilling long-overdue needs to be seen as desirable--not in a bad, neurotic way, but just that the added complications of polyamory are even more worthwhile if you're using it to build damaged self-esteem as well as loving and enjoying love with other people. If anything, people who are still fulfilling these needs in our 20s and 30s etc. instead of as teenagers seem more responsible and level-headed about it. This certainly isn't the only pattern of motives, but I know it does go on.

Look! It's Yohannon!

[yohannon.livejournal.com]

Hey, Koosh sent me this way...

Tell me what you need. I'll even be happy to shamelessly shill on saturday (ooh, how alliterative!) if my Fat Sex panel doesn't get my ass banned from the con... :P

~Y~

Re: Look! It's Yohannon!

[firecat]

What I need: Do you know of any fat + poly groups (online or off)? I know of fat groups, poly groups, and fat + sex groups already. I'm looking for groups that focus more on the relationship aspect of poly than the whoopee aspect. Thanks!

[firecat]

There's certainly a lot of overlap, but other subgroups that have lots of overlap still have special groups for themselves - fat + bbw, bi + poly, and isn't there an LJ group for bi poly kinky pagan gamers or something? I think it's odd that there aren't ANY groups (that I've found) for fat + poly. The only one I found is for poly pagan bbws.

I tweak your theory slightly: Once you've found something about yourself that's important enough for you to join groups about it, the culture of the group will encourage you to dig out other self-identities that match those of some other people in the group.

I think some people go on to look for other self-identities on their own, but group culture better explains, IMO, the phenomenon of "Hi, I'm yet another queer poly kinky pagan fat grrrrl."

[jenk]

She probably hasn't updated the web page. She decided to do the Naafa show after the BBW Bash in Las Vegas. I think the plan is for her to be there Friday & Saturday.

She is listed on http://www.bigsummerfun.com/2005Vendors.htm