firecat

Society, though, treats it as though there's only so much responsibility to go around, so that to the extent that potential victims are capable of looking out for themselves, potential perpetrators have that much less responsibility for their actions.

Yes, that's part of the point. Although I do feel constrained to note that it's not nearly as strong a reaction for other types of crime. If a man flashes a wad of cash around in a bar and gets rolled for it, people may go "tsk-tsk, how stupid can you get?" -- but there is still no question that he was the victim of a crime. If a woman is wearing a short skirt and gets raped... all of a sudden she's the one who did something wrong, and the rapist is completely exonerated!

The other part of the point is that the exclusive focus on women in rape prevention reinforces this. When we talk to women about "ways to avoid rape" without also talking to men about "how not to become a rapist", we put all the responsibility for rape onto the woman -- just as we used to put all the responsibility for birth control onto the woman. Have you ever heard someone say, "she got herself pregnant"? It used to be a common phrase, as though the other participant in the process had nothing whatsoever to do with it. And I've also heard the corresponding phrase "she got herself raped", though neither one as frequently these days as they used to be used.

What's interesting to me is the number of people who are making one of two particular misinterpretations of this meme: (1) that it's advocating not teaching women how to reduce their risk exposure, or (2) that it can't possibly do any good because "there will always be rapists". The first misinterpretation IMO is an indicator of the same either/or, zero-sum mindset you mentioned. The second shows just how deeply the rape culture permeates our society, that people can't even envision a change which would make rape more of an abnormality and less just "something some guys do".