My Civic Duty, by firecat, age 4 (and 4 decades)

[firecat]

A month ago or so: You are summoned for Jury Duty at the superior court, 17 miles from your house, at 12:45pm. Please check the day before to see if you are needed.

Yesterday: You are needed for Jury Duty. Your reporting time has changed. You must report at 9am. Please come 30 minutes early to pass the security checkpoint.

8:30 am: Welcome to Jury Duty during Juror Appreciation Week! Here's your free pen. Help yourself to Cheezits, pretzels, granola bars, and instant coffee and tea.

9:00 am: We're sorry that the hot water tap on the water cooler isn't working. We're sorry that the room is so crowded. Oh, there's also a power outage in parts of the courtroom. That means the computers aren't working. That means we can't process your affidavit forms or assign you to courtrooms. But they're working on it, so you can't leave. We're sorry that the bathrooms have no lights and there's no air conditioning either. But we do happen to have power to this TV, so we can to show this video about how fun Jury Duty is. Thank you for serving.

We pay $15 plus 34 cents a mile, but payment starts on the second day, so thank you for your contribution today (yes, she really said that). This is Juror Appreciation Week!

10:15 am: There's a fire in the building. Please leave the building immediately and stand in the parking lot in the hot sun for 45 minutes.

11:00 am: You're dismissed. Thank you for showing up. You won't have to do Jury Duty for another year. If you need an excuse for work, you can't have one, because our computers aren't working, so we can't process your affidavit forms or issue you excuses. But trust us, you won't have to serve for another year.

Comments

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

Wow!! It's not often you get to see such coordinated idiocy!

[firecat]

It is a shining example of same, isn't it?

[dawnd.livejournal.com]

Wow. And they wonder why people try everything under the sun to get out of this!

[elynne.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Just... yeah.

Yeesh.

[punzel.livejournal.com]

Ironic how appropriate that icon is for your story!

Ergh.

[punzel.livejournal.com]

Poetic. I meant POETIC.

Re: Yeesh.

[firecat]

It seems appropriate so often.

[karenkay.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday?

[firecat]

Ha, THAT would have be the sine plus non, but fortunately it's several months away.

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

I am appalled but not surprised.

[firecat]

I might work my way around to appalled when my brain re-engages. Surprised I wasn't.

[leback.livejournal.com]

I am routinely disgusted by just how poorly jurors (and potential jurors) are treated. Considering the tasks juries are saddled with, you'd think (well, not you personally, because you obviously know better) they'd be treated with a modicum of respect...but I guess if the system doesn't *have* to treat jurors well (which it doesn't, because jurors have effectively no rights and no recourse for poor treatment), why would it bother?

Grr.

[firecat]

I have to say that the employee in charge of the jurors (don't know the name for the job) was quite kind (in some cases they've been rude) but it was clear there wasn't anything she could do for us except apologize and wait for orders from someone else.

[weirdodragoncat.livejournal.com]

Actually..its not entirely true that jurors don't have rights. Check out this website and you'll see what I mean.

http://www.fija.org/

[epi-lj.livejournal.com]

That sounds frustrating. Still, it could be worse; you could have been serving in Canada (where the escapade would have lasted another four days)!

I initially read this:

"Please check the day before to see if you are needed."

...as:

"Please check the day before to see if you are naked."

[firecat]

there are SO many ways it could have been worse.

[necturus.livejournal.com]

Several winters ago I was called to jury duty in a Massachusetts courthouse that had no heat. We were all huddled together with our overcoats on, waiting for some judge to decide whether or not we were needed.

This was the same courthouse in which the Sacco and Vanzetti trial took place in 1921, incidentally.

[firecat]

Wow. Was it just the jury room that had no heat, or the whole building? Woe betide any defendant who gets tried in that situation.

[necturus.livejournal.com]

The whole building had no heat. A lawyer poked his head into the room at one point and suggested we lobby our legislators to increase the budget for the courts so they could afford heat. I don't think he was serious, but you never know.

[firecat]

Wow again.

[genomekelly.livejournal.com]

_Mirabile dictu_, no less an authority than Zacarias Moussaoui has proclaimed that the American criminal justice system works. (I read it on the Internet - it must be true.)

[firecat]

It works, they regularly put people in jail and kill them (providing certain industries with a cheap labor source in the meantime).

Whether it's the people who actually committed the crimes is another question.

[slfisher.livejournal.com]

free granola bars!

[firecat]

And a pen! Any time I get a free pen, I'm happy.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

All I can think to say is, "Wow".

[firecat]

I guess that pretty much sums it up...