In which firecat discusses her isms

[firecat]

I've studied feminism for decades and have long believed that feminists—starting long before I was born and continuing today—have discovered some really important things about what my world is like and have done things to make my world better for me as a woman and better for a lot of other people too (although not all people).

Steeping myself in feminist viewpoints for a long time has made me pretty sensitive to gender-biased behavior among people I know, and gender bias in the media. (And has spoiled my enjoyment of a few authors I used to really like.)

Nevertheless, I have lived my whole life in a culture that privileges men over women and people of other genders in a number of ways, and I have internalized the assumption that the public sphere belongs to men. So despite decades of study, if someone mentions a person involved in making public policy, and I don't know who they are, and the name I hear doesn't strike me as "obviously feminine," I tend to assume they are male.

So I just saw a news headline, "Clinton stresses two-state solution," and my first thought is that Bill Clinton said it in a talk somewhere, and it takes me reading the first few words of the article, "U.S. Secretary of State Hillary
Clinton stressed a two-state Israel-Palestine solution..." to realize who the story is talking about. *DOH*.

Despite decades of being involved with feminist thought, sexism is still so deeply rooted in me that I automatically envisioned Bill Clinton when I saw the name Clinton, even though Hillary Clinton is in a more prominent position in government now.

I have made some effort to learn about race issues but I haven't worked on that nearly as much as feminism. So I'm sure I have many more automatic assumptions about race than I do about gender.

When people who I think came from more or less the same upbringing as mine say they aren't racist or sexist at all, I really wonder where they got the module installed that erases all of the conditioning they received.

Comments

[dr-brat.livejournal.com]

The one male in my feminist theory class made the comment this morning that "nobody in this country is discriminated against anymore." I hardly know what to do with that.

[firecat]

Well, he certainly needs the class...I hope he learns from it.

[dr-brat.livejournal.com]

I am sadly convinced that he's not even doing the reading and is there because he delights in pulling my chain. If he continues not to turn in any written work, I'll be displeased but justified in handing him his F.

But the rest of the class is a joy and I'm learning a ton.

[firecat]

If he gets an F maybe he will learn something a little different from what I was originally imagining.

[abostick59.livejournal.com]

Is ridicule not apppropriate?

[dr-brat.livejournal.com]

I wish it were, but no, not in a classroom setting. And not if my goal is for him to learn anything. In fact, I've had to reprimand him for ridiculing others. "Why would you want to do that?" in response to someone who is vegan is not an invitation to conversation the way he delivers it.

I need this class to be a safe space for everyone and that includes him, which means I need to figure out how to tone him down without shutting him down. It's a challenge. The class goes much better the days he doesn't come. But I have been absolutely refusing to back off of the open discussions of sex even when the women in the class point out that it makes him uncomfortable. Sex and sex habits are so much at the root of male/female dominance issues that I won't just gloss those over. But making him uncomfortable is different than ridiculing him. And I hope that he will learn something even if it won't be as much as I'd like.

Me, I'm learning, too; so that's good.