rape, men as potential rapists, fear of

[firecat]

There's an Internet conversation about rape, one post about which is here.

After reading that post, I saw several posts in which a woman said although she intellectually understands that many women fear men as potential rapists, she doesn't have that fear, and she has never been sexually assaulted, either because no one tried or because she defended herself with words or weapons.

I'm really glad that these women haven't suffered sexual assault or fear of sexual assault.

But I don't understand why a number of women are apparently responding to this conversation by saying that they aren't afraid of rape and don't have a general fear of men as potential rapists. Do they feel they should be afraid? I'm getting the impression that they feel not being afraid of rape makes them weird. Maybe that it makes them unfeminine somehow? Is this because our culture sends the message that all women should be afraid of rape?

I'm also not sure what I think about the suggestion that a certain attitude or body language -- specifically, attitude/body language that shows a lack of fear -- can prevent an assault from happening. I think it can make a difference in some situations--maybe a lot of situations. (I gather that it's part of what's taught at self-defense classes.) But I don't think it's any kind of guarantee. I know plenty of people who have a "don't mess with me" attitude/body language who have been assaulted.

(For the record, I haven't experienced sexual assault either. I have feared it in a few specific situations.)

Comments

[tedesson.livejournal.com]

I haven't read the original post, so this is just an en passant comment.

A friend of mine is m-to-f trans, and had moved away around the time of her transition. She made a comment about being afraid to walk on the street near her usual coffee shop, which I thought odd at the time (this was before I knew of her transition), as my recollection of him was someone with sufficient physicality to discourage random street hassles.

Is broadcast fear a female social signal?
And what is the behavior on the part of others it's supposed to encourage?

[tylik.livejournal.com]

It's *complicated*. Because yes, a lot of women are taught to be afraid. (I was mostly not, actually.) But even if you aren't, there is a societal assumption of vulnerability associated with the feminine - even if you're tall and muscular and wearing sensible shoes. Even if there's an excellent chance you could hand most guys their asses, minced, baked and served on a platter. Long hair makes it worse, BTW. I suspect the large breasts / small waist bit makes it worse, too, but that's not such an easy fix as the hair. I've noticed it a lot more since I moved - I think the gender roles in Cleveland are rather more rigid than I'm used to. (A lot of things combine hitting upon with icky power dynamics. Ew. Ew. Ew! No, being paternalistic is not attractive. And making a point of holding a door for me and then acting like they've put a down payment on my tush?!)

Are you familiar, though, with the stats regarding violence towards transwomen?

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

trans women are statistically in greater danger than cisgendered women.