firecat: hothead saying "feh" "muh" "nist" (feh muh nist)
[personal profile] firecat
There's an Internet conversation about rape, one post about which is here.

After reading that post, I saw several posts in which a woman said although she intellectually understands that many women fear men as potential rapists, she doesn't have that fear, and she has never been sexually assaulted, either because no one tried or because she defended herself with words or weapons.

I'm really glad that these women haven't suffered sexual assault or fear of sexual assault.

But I don't understand why a number of women are apparently responding to this conversation by saying that they aren't afraid of rape and don't have a general fear of men as potential rapists. Do they feel they should be afraid? I'm getting the impression that they feel not being afraid of rape makes them weird. Maybe that it makes them unfeminine somehow? Is this because our culture sends the message that all women should be afraid of rape?

I'm also not sure what I think about the suggestion that a certain attitude or body language -- specifically, attitude/body language that shows a lack of fear -- can prevent an assault from happening. I think it can make a difference in some situations--maybe a lot of situations. (I gather that it's part of what's taught at self-defense classes.) But I don't think it's any kind of guarantee. I know plenty of people who have a "don't mess with me" attitude/body language who have been assaulted.

(For the record, I haven't experienced sexual assault either. I have feared it in a few specific situations.)

Re: i'm on another train heading south

Date: 7 Jun 2009 08:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elynne.livejournal.com
of course if you leave the comment _and_ make it a post in your journal, yeah, then you are derailing.

So what I did - posting a comment, and reposting that same comment in my LJ - is derailing? Or does derailment imply intent? My intention was not to redirect the conversation in another direction, though apparantly I did, because I did not correctly understand the original statement. Derailment by accident (ignorance) is still derailment, yes?

Orrrrr, is it automatically derailing if you respond to the subject at hand and disagree?

I'm wordnoodling, by the way; not upset or offended or anything, just curious, kind of tired, and - curious. And words words words.

Re: i'm on another train heading south

Date: 7 Jun 2009 08:32 pm (UTC)
ext_481: origami crane (Default)
From: [identity profile] pir-anha.livejournal.com
i don't know; i don't remember your comment because i have been up all day and night and half day. :)

if the comment was at a clearly divergent tangent to the focus, then probably, yes. the derailment isn't the part where you post it in YOUR journal, it's the part where you post it in the other journal. if you only post your tangent in your own journal without mentioning it in the original discussion space, it's not derailment IMO.

example derailment:

person A starts talking about genital mutilation in african girls, and about how to raise awareness of it. several people chime in and discuss why this is a problem, how to inform others, what actions to take. then person B says in person A's journal: "well, a lot more little boys get mutilated by circumcision each year, isn't that a bigger problem?". that's derailment.

if person B instead started a post in zir own journal launching into an impassionated plea to stop male circumcision, that's not derailment.

Re: i'm on another train heading south

Date: 7 Jun 2009 08:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elynne.livejournal.com
My comment was exactly the same as what I posted in my LJ. And wow, you're a lot more coherent than I am on less sleep. O.O I get six hours and I'm all *flail*; you've been up far longer and you're much clearer. Heh. ;)

I don't think my comment was derailing, then. I think I did specifically address what I thought was the main point of the original post, and if it isn't actually the main post, it is at least part of the point, enough so that I've seen several comments along similar lines. Duck, rabbit, duck, rabbit, alligator.

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