rape, men as potential rapists, fear of

[firecat]

There's an Internet conversation about rape, one post about which is here.

After reading that post, I saw several posts in which a woman said although she intellectually understands that many women fear men as potential rapists, she doesn't have that fear, and she has never been sexually assaulted, either because no one tried or because she defended herself with words or weapons.

I'm really glad that these women haven't suffered sexual assault or fear of sexual assault.

But I don't understand why a number of women are apparently responding to this conversation by saying that they aren't afraid of rape and don't have a general fear of men as potential rapists. Do they feel they should be afraid? I'm getting the impression that they feel not being afraid of rape makes them weird. Maybe that it makes them unfeminine somehow? Is this because our culture sends the message that all women should be afraid of rape?

I'm also not sure what I think about the suggestion that a certain attitude or body language -- specifically, attitude/body language that shows a lack of fear -- can prevent an assault from happening. I think it can make a difference in some situations--maybe a lot of situations. (I gather that it's part of what's taught at self-defense classes.) But I don't think it's any kind of guarantee. I know plenty of people who have a "don't mess with me" attitude/body language who have been assaulted.

(For the record, I haven't experienced sexual assault either. I have feared it in a few specific situations.)

Comments

[beaq.livejournal.com]

I, too, have noticed a sharp decline in casual harassment as I've gotten older. I'd like to attribute it to an increase in perceived authority, but sometimes I wonder if I haven't simply learned what to avoid doing and where to avoid going. I know people who stick out as unusual in some way tend to attract attention, and thus harassment, so it might just be that older = less interesting, too.

[innerdoggie.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I call it "middle aged invisibility" and this is the really nice benefit. The bad side is that people will try to sit on you or otherwise invade your space without noticing because they don't see you.

[firecat]

I think it's "young people are more likely to harrass than older people, and I no longer look like a peer of young people, so I am not an interesting harrassment target."

The funny thing is that as I have gotten fatter, I've gotten less harrassment in general, but I've started to get more negative attention from children under 10 again.

[innerdoggie.livejournal.com]

Oh dear! I am sorry that is happening to you.

[firecat]

I would like to be able to laugh it off, and sometimes I can, but other times I get unpleasant flashbacks to my childhood when it used to happen a lot.