Bullying

[firecat]

This article discusses why children who are bullied sometimes don't discuss it with adults.

http://www.livescience.com/8994-bully-victims-suffer-silence.html

I did mention to my parents sometimes that other kids bullied me. Their response was "Ignore it, and they'll get bored and stop." I figured that this meant "We don't want to hear about it, because we don't know what to do to stop it." (This reason isn't on the list of reasons in the article.)

So I stopped talking to them about it and I pretended to ignore the bullying and to some extent I think this strategy prevented the bullying from escalating past name-calling, although it didn't stop it.

I also developed another strategy, which was essentially to be quiet and hide in plain sight. This got so ingrained that I find it difficult to turn off, which causes me problems at times.

Comments

[graymalkin13.livejournal.com]

"Fear adults will do nothing: Kids may be skeptical that adults can, or will, take steps to stop a bully."

My parents knew I was being bullied both emotionally and physically in junior high because I came home crying most days. My dad never seemed to care about my existence. My mother got angry at me. I got the "ignore it and they will stop" line, but when I still got bullied, my mother seemed to think my distress was a passive-aggressive criticism of her. (Probably because she knew the bullying was largely her fault because she moved me to a school where I wasn't safe.)

My teachers knew I was being bullied because they saw it happen. It was standard operating procedure for them.

Hiding didn't work for me. After two years, my parents took me out of the public school system. They didn't want to discuss what had happened. They said, "That's the past. Forget about it now." And this is one reason I have never been close to my parents, and one reason why I have a permanently bitter heart.

[firecat]

And this is one reason I have never been close to my parents, and one reason why I have a permanently bitter heart.

I am so sad that happened to you.

[graymalkin13.livejournal.com]

Don't be sad, sweetie.

My parents sent me to a private high school that was a very good place for me. Eventually, I grew up and left "home" and had a life. Yes, I am bitter, but I am also calm, and there are good things, and I have you.