Bullying

[firecat]

This article discusses why children who are bullied sometimes don't discuss it with adults.

http://www.livescience.com/8994-bully-victims-suffer-silence.html

I did mention to my parents sometimes that other kids bullied me. Their response was "Ignore it, and they'll get bored and stop." I figured that this meant "We don't want to hear about it, because we don't know what to do to stop it." (This reason isn't on the list of reasons in the article.)

So I stopped talking to them about it and I pretended to ignore the bullying and to some extent I think this strategy prevented the bullying from escalating past name-calling, although it didn't stop it.

I also developed another strategy, which was essentially to be quiet and hide in plain sight. This got so ingrained that I find it difficult to turn off, which causes me problems at times.

Comments

hide in plain sight

[e4q.livejournal.com]

that was what i did for years and years.

i had no way of dealing with the culture of bullying at my school, and at the time, home was not much better for me. i won't go into it, but i have been pregnant more than once, but never felt safe to go full term. and i think things could have been different for me if i hadn't developed this armoured persona. i think i have rather dropped it away now. being ill makes you vulnerable in a way that makes you strong. but i am also quite old as well, with it. i wish i could retrospectively use what i have learned, but of course i cannot. only use it now. which some people never get to.

Re: hide in plain sight

[innerdoggie.livejournal.com]

Yeah, one reason I don't have children is that I didn't feel confident that I could give them the social tools they need to deal with bullies. I have many reasons, but that is one among them.

Re: hide in plain sight

[firecat]

That particular reason hasn't ever explicitly been on my list, but it should have been. It's an important thing for prospective parents to think about.

Re: hide in plain sight

[firecat]

being ill makes you vulnerable in a way that makes you strong.

That's a really profound thing to think about.

Re: hide in plain sight

[e4q.livejournal.com]

it came as a massive surprise to me.