Bullying

[firecat]

This article discusses why children who are bullied sometimes don't discuss it with adults.

http://www.livescience.com/8994-bully-victims-suffer-silence.html

I did mention to my parents sometimes that other kids bullied me. Their response was "Ignore it, and they'll get bored and stop." I figured that this meant "We don't want to hear about it, because we don't know what to do to stop it." (This reason isn't on the list of reasons in the article.)

So I stopped talking to them about it and I pretended to ignore the bullying and to some extent I think this strategy prevented the bullying from escalating past name-calling, although it didn't stop it.

I also developed another strategy, which was essentially to be quiet and hide in plain sight. This got so ingrained that I find it difficult to turn off, which causes me problems at times.

Comments

What I Learned

[gary-farber.livejournal.com]

"...to be quiet and hide in plain sight..." as one strategy I learned well, and deployed often, and very much. You haven't seen it, but it's in my toolchest, and still comes out often, in appropriate context.

I also learned a considerable variety of techniques, and responses.

A meta response was to learn a considerable variety of techniques, and responses.

And to experiment with them.

One was to talk fast and be funny, and distract the bully so that while they were laughing, I'd vanish in a puff of smoke.

That was for bullies.

The rest of my answer would run long.

Relying on my parents wasn't even a thought that crossed my mind. Consulting my parents wasn't even a thought.

I was an immensely independent child, of necessity, and will.

But then we'd get into autobiography, and all the rest is commentary.