You slut, me Jane

[firecat]

Someone posted on a list I read about sluttiness and it got me to thinking "what is sluttiness?" (Note: I am defining it as a neutral to positive trait, not as a negative trait.) I haven't yet intro'ed myself on that list so I thought I'd post my noodlings here instead.

I don't identify as slutty. But I do relate to some characteristics I think are part of being slutty. For example, I enjoy friendly physical / sexual contact and I don't feel that sex needs to be in the context of a romantic or committed relationship to be enjoyable. (Caring and respect do have to be there.) But I'm not making it a priority to have sex frequently or with many people or many different people (and to me at least one of those needs to be there to earn the "slutty" label). I'm also not making it a priority to have group sex, although I've generally liked my experiences with it.

Finally, I rather like (although I don't require) a slow courtship, even if the end result is not romance but friendly sex. But sluttiness and a slow courtship seem somehow incompatible to me.

Since I've lately felt my life is running a little low on partner sex, maybe I ought to change my prioritizing.

Comments

hmmm

[tendyl.livejournal.com]

Thanks for putting this up. Its twinging in my brain about how I view sex. Interesting...

Re: hmmm

[firecat]

would be curious to see what the twingings result in, if it's articulable

Definition of "partner sex"?

[lenniersd.livejournal.com]

Are you using the phrase "partner sex" to differentiate from "solo sex" (masturbation), or are you using it to indicate "sex with someone I consider 'my partner', as compared to sex with someone who isn't 'my partner'"?

Re: Definition of "partner sex"?

[firecat]

The former. "Sex with another person or persons."

Re: Definition of "partner sex"?

[lizw.livejournal.com]

*grin* You've both just reminded me of something I need to put in my diary ;-)

Re: Definition of "partner sex"?

[firecat]

[curious kitty]

Re: Definition of "partner sex"?

[lizw.livejournal.com]

Been planning to take myself out on a date ;-)

Re: Definition of "partner sex"?

[firecat]

Ah yes. [grin]

Heya!

[figmo.livejournal.com]

I define "slut" in the negative sense as someone who sleeps around in a deceitful way or who plays mind games with the sex. If there's no screwing around with someone's head involved, there's no sluttiness.

I knew a gal years ago who had been saddled with the "slut" label by some guys we knew. She defined "slut" as "someone who won't sleep with you."

Re: Heya!

[firecat]

Hi Lynn!

I've also heard slut defined as "someone who sleeps around more than I get to" kind of the way yuppie gets defined as "someone who has more material goods than I can afford."