What is it then?

[firecat]

kshandra pointed to this quote about depression.

Interesting. Everyone seems to be agreeing with it, but it's not all that similar to how I experience what I've called depression.

What I've called chronic depression includes a tendency to become...easily overstimulated. Sensory stimuli start feeling like sandpaper on my nerves, and I have to retreat into simplicity. If there's no way to physically retreat, I withdraw from what's going on around me.

I like intense sensations and feelings but I tend not to seek out as many such experiences as most other people I know. A little goes a long way. That's why I've tended to call it depression: because I feel like it limits me from living what's commonly considered "a full life" and because it looks like withdrawl. Also, because I've occasionally experienced its lifting along with the sense "Oh, so that is what it's like to feel normal; that's why other people can keep going so much longer than I usually can."

At the same time, I am suspicious of the standard notion of "a full life"; I think aspects of it are way too narrow and superficial and don't leave room for contemplation.

So if my "easily overstimulated" state of mind doesn't count as mild depression, what should it be called?

Comments

[dawnd.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I'd say possibly that you are a) very introverted (Meyers Briggs definition thereof), and/or b) "A sensitive child"--there are many folks who are easily overstimulated. It's discussed at length in books on your "spririted child"--the new euphemism for the "difficult" child. ;^) One of the possible markers (there are 7 or 8 big ones) that makes for a "spririted" child is this sort of sensitivity. It will often manifest in kids who won't wear long pants, who have to have all-cotton clothes, who have to have the tags cut out of their shirts or they won't wear them, etc. These same kids can also be totally overwhelmed with other sorts of stimuli--aural, energetic, visual, etc. It varies from person to person, but I don't think it's a sign of "depression" (unless you used to be different, and now you've changed). In the Introverts group we talked about High Gain and Low Gain people--some people are just more sensitive, and that's how they are. Regarding how to deal with it, if it's causing you distress--can you reduce the stimuli in other areas, especially when you know something stimulating is coming up in the social realm that you don't want to miss?

Best to you!

Good thoughts

[firecat]

Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if I had a mild version of the "sensitivity" thing.

Yes, I can prep for a special occasion. Insofar as there is distress, it's got to do with occasionally getting into snits where I compare myself to others and thinking there is something wrong with me because I don't want to be out partying all the time. :-)