What is it then?

[firecat]

kshandra pointed to this quote about depression.

Interesting. Everyone seems to be agreeing with it, but it's not all that similar to how I experience what I've called depression.

What I've called chronic depression includes a tendency to become...easily overstimulated. Sensory stimuli start feeling like sandpaper on my nerves, and I have to retreat into simplicity. If there's no way to physically retreat, I withdraw from what's going on around me.

I like intense sensations and feelings but I tend not to seek out as many such experiences as most other people I know. A little goes a long way. That's why I've tended to call it depression: because I feel like it limits me from living what's commonly considered "a full life" and because it looks like withdrawl. Also, because I've occasionally experienced its lifting along with the sense "Oh, so that is what it's like to feel normal; that's why other people can keep going so much longer than I usually can."

At the same time, I am suspicious of the standard notion of "a full life"; I think aspects of it are way too narrow and superficial and don't leave room for contemplation.

So if my "easily overstimulated" state of mind doesn't count as mild depression, what should it be called?

Comments

[femery.livejournal.com]

I too have boughts of great depression and since menopause, am hypersensitive. I have a couple of things I do that have helped me surf the positive of this condition is to accept that feeling so much has brought me both sides of the coin .... Life is more beautiful as well as more sad. It may not be everyone's way, but it is mine.

The other great help is to look to my strength when I find I am being sucked in by my black hole of depression.

There are so many ways people think of strength.

A couple of months ago, there was an issue all about strength that Oprah put out. I know .... kind of mainstream. Any who, there is so much thought provoking stuff in there. There are interviews of people with such serious conditions, health issues, death and loss, accepting they have an incurable illness, famous people, etc., along with narative discussions by professional health care/psycological cridentials.

Studying how I am strong, and where I find my strength has helped me see that if I'm seriously being responsible for myself, and doing good self-parenting, my depressions and sensitivities can be strong coping tools. That while I cannot be in denial or dismiss the fact that I must manage the downside decent into self-destructive behavior, I can also surf the positive parts of any cycles of depression, sadness, need for solitude, etc., and find a strength to work through the lessons life is giving me at the moment and come out evolving and growing.

So, my way may not look pretty to anyone, I might be battered, bloodied, overwhelmed by my hyper-sensitive feelings, and crawling over the finish line, but I am there, and it took a tremendous amount of strength that I own to get there!

Then I remember, I always grow and learn more working with serious difficulties and situations than the easy ones.

So .... what does strength look like to you? I would love to know your ideas.

Diane

[firecat]

So .... what does strength look like to you?

I agree with you -- strength is persisting.

For me, it's also not caring too much what other people think about me. (And that's a bit I'm feeling weak on right now.)