What is it then?

[firecat]

kshandra pointed to this quote about depression.

Interesting. Everyone seems to be agreeing with it, but it's not all that similar to how I experience what I've called depression.

What I've called chronic depression includes a tendency to become...easily overstimulated. Sensory stimuli start feeling like sandpaper on my nerves, and I have to retreat into simplicity. If there's no way to physically retreat, I withdraw from what's going on around me.

I like intense sensations and feelings but I tend not to seek out as many such experiences as most other people I know. A little goes a long way. That's why I've tended to call it depression: because I feel like it limits me from living what's commonly considered "a full life" and because it looks like withdrawl. Also, because I've occasionally experienced its lifting along with the sense "Oh, so that is what it's like to feel normal; that's why other people can keep going so much longer than I usually can."

At the same time, I am suspicious of the standard notion of "a full life"; I think aspects of it are way too narrow and superficial and don't leave room for contemplation.

So if my "easily overstimulated" state of mind doesn't count as mild depression, what should it be called?

Comments

Re: Heya!

[firecat]

One of the exercises in the book asks the reader to think back to a time when the trait was a definite asset. I read that book years ago and I still haven't come up with such a time. (pout.)

I can think of lots of benefits. Lets me concentrate in quiet rather than going out of my gourd with boredom. Lets me experience sensory input really keenly.