BAKICIDW/LJ: Refocusing

[firecat]

Are there any books, web sites, communities, or apps for this? --> "Getting things done when you're depressed, easily fatigued, easily distracted, virtually unable to prioritize, and tending to have a problem with authority, including your own."

Are there any for this? --> "Relearning how to set and follow through with goals when you've forgotten how and have the issues mentioned above."

In the past I've tried and failed to be inspired by Flylady, Unfuck Your Habitat, Getting Things Done, TiddlyWiki, and various others. But if you have issues similar to mine and use them effectively, feel free to explain how.

I keep on top of small tasks using a reminder app (*and I need to remember that I used to have trouble with that, so my current state of frustration is actually a little distance down the road of where I think I want to go, so yay?*) but so far I haven't figured out how to make it work for bigger projects.

ETA: I'm mainly seeking recs for tools/books/communities that you have worked with. I know the guidelines (such as "break down the task" and "designate x minutes to work on the task") but I get into states where I have a hard time putting the guidelines into practice.

Comments

[eeyore_grrl]

superbetter.com helped me feel more accomplished when i was way down. small manageable goals - down to getting out of bed...

[sofiaviolet]

Yes, I also had success with SuperBetter - the only problem was that I had to gamify all the tasks I did at home, not just housework. If I didn't also enter stuff like 'writing' and 'do your homework' then I avoided those tasks in favor of the ones that would give me points.

I have just started using todoist, and so far I like it. The ability to sync the todo list across multiple platforms is handy.

[firecat]

Thanks! Actually housework isn't the primary thing I have trouble with, so something that lets me list other stuff too would be good.

[firecat]

Thanks, that looks intriguing!

[snippy]

I used the Sidetracked Home Executives 20 years ago and liked it. I still use many elements of their system, combined with stuff I learned from Don Aslett.

[firecat]

Thanks!

[snippy]

I also saw this recommended on a blog, but I haven't used it: GTD (getting things done) for Homemakers.

[firecat]

Thanks! I seem to have reached an impasse with GTD.

[ironed_orchid]

Not an app, but I love bitesizedcleaning for reminders about things I could be doing in less than 15 minutes, and prompts. It's very much based on the idea that even when we are low on spoons, we might be able to manage a couple of small things to stop everything piling up.

[firecat]

Thanks, I joined. It seems like it might be very useful.

[kaberett]

"Executive dysfunction" is a useful keyword, maybe? Relates to knowing you need to do things, but don't know HOW - getting stuck on what each step is, even if it's something you've done several thousand times before (e.g. having a shower).

[firecat]

If executive dysfunction extends to knowing what the next step is but feeling resistance to it, yeah.

[wild_irises]

I just saw this, and maybe you did too. It struck me because it's such a completely different way of approaching the problem.

[firecat]

Task monitoring via legos. That's awesome!

[metaphortunate]

Dunno, but thanks for asking - maybe someday I'll have time to look into the answers!

[firecat]

Hee!

[notyourwendy]

Am watching the replies for ideas as this is sometimes a problem in my household.

[laughingrat]

Flylady, oh my god. I visited her site once ten years ago and the memory is so bad that I felt my lip curling automatically before I'd even consciously processed reading her name. "Fail to be inspired" puts it mildly when it comes to me and motivational websites. :)

That said, I do hope you find something helpful. The whole task-stagnation thing gets pretty old.

[firecat]

Thanks. I did take away a couple of useful ideas from the Flylady site, but the motivational tone didn't do it for me.

[johnpalmer]

In managing depression and fatigue, I've found that if I'm depressed, I just need the reminder, and if I'm fatigued, I need to make the task physical.

What do I mean by "physical"? If I'm fatigued, I don't want to exercise, but I can stay on the treadmill if I get myself there. I don't think about the kitchen, but if I decide to clear the counters and load the dishwasher, that will get done. Once it hits a pure physical "here's a beginning, you know how to get to the end, just hold on until you get there" I'll get it done.

There are failures to this. For example, if I dump my laundry on my bed in hopes that I'll put it away before bed, well, it's far too easy to find a place to put the laundry. On the other hand, if I start putting laundry away, I will get it done.

Right now, I'm going through a "if no one will get hurt, and I feel like screaming if I think of doing it, I don't have to do it" phase, so I can't answer how to get things done very well right now. I've always gotten stuff done through tenacity, but that's not a good long term answer.

[firecat]

Right now, I'm going through a "if no one will get hurt, and I feel like screaming if I think of doing it, I don't have to do it" phase, so I can't answer how to get things done very well right now.

I hope you get to a place where fewer things make you feel like screaming to do them.

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

http://www.amazon.com/Get-Done-When-Youre-Depressed/dp/1592577067

And googling [getting things done when you're depressed] turns up a bunch more.

[firecat]

Thanks! Have you used that one?

[bunnybutt.livejournal.com]

I'm a list-worker. Bigger projects turn into nested lists, aka outlines. Checking things off is its own reward when I'm doing well, and when I'm doing less well a check = an actual reward of some sort.

In terms of habitat, I hired a house cleaner to make sure the base line is always there. I would sink without that.

[firecat]

Thanks!

We hire a house cleaner because that is cheaper than relationship therapy.

I make lists and then, more often than not, studiously ignore them or look at them and feel overwhelmed.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

I hired a house cleaner as roach insurance (turns out that roaches aren't as much of an issue in the PNW, but the principle remains). I knew I could want to clean as much as I wanted to, but if I was too tired, it just wouldn't happen.

[sarahmichigan.livejournal.com]

The website "Unfuck Your Habitat" is a judgement-free zone (comments like "How did you allow your house to get so filthy!" are NOT allowed, for instance) and there are tags devoted especially to trying to clean and organize when you're depressed or ill. I really like it tons.

http://unfuckyourhabitat.tumblr.com/tagged/depression

http://unfuckyourhabitat.tumblr.com/tagged/mental-blocks

[firecat]

Thanks, I haven't been able to work with UYH in the past but the tags look helpful.

bigger tasks

[dr-brat.livejournal.com]

I no longer have the reference, but the key to getting larger tasks done is to break them down into smaller tasks and then schedule the smaller tasks. So "Write syllabus for new course" is useless to me, but "review book," "seek other books," "seek articles," "review book1," "review book2," "review article1" (etc), "develop assignments" all get plugged in to my schedule and the syllabus gets done. "Break down and schedule JobX" is also a mindable task.

Re: bigger tasks

[firecat]

Thanks. For me there's some kind of disconnect between the theory of that and the practice.

Re: bigger tasks

[dr-brat.livejournal.com]

I find I can only do it for one large task at a time. Otherwise I get overwhelmed and stuck. I can stick small things in, but I can't manage multiple broken down large tasks. :-(

Re: bigger tasks

[firecat]

That's helpful to know. I can do one at a time. Maybe right now I'm trying to do too many at once.

Re: bigger tasks

[dr-brat.livejournal.com]

If I have too much going at once I get paralyzed. What I do then is write everything down (so I know where it all is, because I might lose it if it's not written down, you know?) and pick one thing to do. Usually that helps.

[elainegrey.livejournal.com]

It's not specifically for depressed folks, but i found http://jenniferlouden.com/products/satisfaction-finder-buy/ very helpful.

Many of the concepts were fairly familiar, but the condition of enoughness has been helpful. I won't say it's made me rock and solved every task oriented issue, but it has made me very aware of both unrealistic expectations and honoring my energy levels.

Conditions of Enoughness (COE)

"This will be satisfying because i have declared it enough. It is my life, I get to decide"

1. name what is enough in simple facts [Specific Measurable Actionable]
3. insure they are achievable in an average day [Realistic]
2. include a time element [Timebound]
4. Declare yourself satisfied when your conditions are met -- even if you don't feel satisfied.

STOP when you have completed what you said what you said you would do. Declare it enough.

One of the complementary techniques i came up with is influenced by "pomodoro" techniques and the fact that part of my sense of overwhelm is that there are too many ought-to-dos that aren't critical or urgent. I'll make lists of things that need to be done, number them, roll 20d (or more often use a command line random number generator) , take the task and work on it for a set period of time. For some unending tasks, it's good enough to just do one lap and move on to something else. Sometimes i have two sets of things: things that will take me away from the desk, and then a major desk project, and i'll take breaks by randomly following the outcome of the random number.

For me, there's something about the randomness that breaks through a certain getting started inertia, and the practice of saying something's done when the clock says it's done has helped with my perfectionism.

[firecat]

Thank you, the "I get to stop" concept is what's missing from so many productivity systems.

I've also got a random creative idea picker, but I stopped using it. Maybe I'll try to pick it up again.

[flarenut.livejournal.com]

I don't know if this is actually useful, but I have come to use Wunderlist for projects, not because it's that good, but because it sucks less and has a very low learning curve. When I check something off it feels good, and even the act of structuring something into a set of subtasks feels like I am not completely at sea.

(Also, shared lists so we don't mess up nearly as badly on the groceries.) And third or fourth the cleaning service.

[firecat]

Thanks! I like the "hidden subtasks" aspect.

[dr-brat.livejournal.com]

Ohhh! I am gonna try that. Thanks.