We need a vornado in here

[firecat]

Some links about brain fog, via umadoshi

"Life Hacks for Brain Fog: Chronic Illness, Focus and The Professional Artist" and "Brain Fog Life Hacks: Out of Sight is Out of Mind" by Colleen Doran: These basically say (1) Keep your workspace organized and tidy, because disorganization adds stress; and (2) Make sure you can see anything that you need to remember about, because otherwise you'll forget about it. Of course, those are mutually contradictory... But anyway, I did like this clarification about brain fog:

It’s not that we can’t remember things, it’s that we have brain hiccups so we have to reinforce our memory, back it up like an engineer, and add sensation to the experience to make sure information sticks....Brain fog isn’t dementia, it’s misfire. Your deep memories are still there, but your working memory is shot....Organizing your studio so that you can have constant visual and tactile reinforcement for your memories and ideas will take the load off your working memory and give you more than one path in your head for what you need to remember.

And this one: "Brain Fog":

Brain fog isn’t just forgetfulness: it’s living in a bizarre twilight world where you are half in and half out of consciousness. Everything seems grey, and you don’t feel the passage of time. ( I could not remember the month, day or year it was.) You float through life, but it’s not a good feeling. You have an almost complete lack of awareness. You’re there, but you do not process what you’re experiencing. What memories you do manage to internalize seem as if they happened to someone else.

Comments

[graymalkin]

Excellent stuff. "Brain fog isn’t dementia, it’s misfire." That is reassuring.
I relate to the entirety of the second paragraph.

[firecat]

I feel reassured too. I had a moment of hope that if I could get rid of the clutter I might have enough focus to work on a project.

[graymalkin]

I get those moments of hope too. Sometimes the hope actually manifests for a little while. But as time goes on, I find the most important thing is to learn to let go. Of hope and expectation, I mean, while attempting to maintain spiritual equilibrium. Because ultimately, nothing temporal (like clutter, and maybe even projects) matters.

Of course, as a Buddhist, you're already know this and are way ahead of me, I expect. :)

Still, one does want to do projects when one is feeling temporal. It is confusing.

[firecat]

The thing is, we're temporal, and we matter.

[graymalkin]

Yes.

[graymalkin]

It's just that I'm holding several contradictory viewpoints at the moment. Confusing.

[firecat]

"The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed
ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to
function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are
hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise." -- F. Scott
Fitzgerald, The Crack-up [1936]

(I haven't read the book and am not a big fan of Fitzgerald in general, but that quote does a good job of describing the state.

[graymalkin]

Indeed it does! Although I can't really claim to be functioning.

I was thinking of your old sig, too. <3

[firecat]

You're functioning! The question is, what are you functioning as?

[kore]

Make sure you can see anything that you need to remember about, because otherwise you'll forget about it.

That is so me, yeah.

I deal with some of this by making sure that stuff like my keys or wallet is ALWAYS in the same place and absolutely never anywhere else, which people have made fun of me for, but if I can remember "keys are always in the outside zippered small pocket of my bag" it saves a lot of wasted time and anxiety.

[firecat]

Yes, I do this too. Except when I forget to :/

The person I live with doesn't have brain fog but is very into redundant reminder systems, so I don't get made fun of.

ok to link?

[brainwane]

Is it ok for me to link to this in the comments of this relevant post?

Re: ok to link?

[firecat]

Certainly!

[johnpalmer]

I'll have to review this. I don't think those two things are strictly contradictory though: like, a calendar in front of you, a visible "in" basket, and discipline about checking where you keep the Must Remember stuff, can still leave your area neat.

And yeah... that's brain fog. For me, it also makes it very hard to read tone, so writing e-mails is a terrible thing for me (and it's a vital part of my job). I work around it by writing the simple e-mails when I can, and drug myself silly (well, I make sure I take my two doses of stimulant closer together than I normally do) for the harder ones.

[gmdreia.livejournal.com]

This came along at a really important time. Thank you.

I'm trying to break through into being a professional artist but am finding that my "issues" are really making it hard. I did really well in school. But outside, I can't finish projects, the isolation of working alone makes it actually worse, I can't even get started unless someone else gives me a deadline. All of the executive function I'm having to muster to do art outside of school is actually making it unpleasurable, and I get an aversion to it sometimes and if I'm averse to something, then I'm stuck and I have trouble making myself do it. That's what some of my artist and writers blocks really end up being.

It's pretty bad. I'm trying to find workarounds, such as being part of online challenges and stuff, but think I actually need the reinforcement of having school assignments or hard work deadlines

I have so many books I want to write and drawings I want to make but I can't even get started. It's like I freeze, and just can't go on to the next thing. People don't grasp what executive dysfunction is really like - example - I haven't replaced the toilet paper in one of the bathrooms in two weeks, because even though every time I'm in there I think "this bathroom needs toilet paper," I can't make myself do it. I cannot make myself do things. No matter how much I want to do those things. No matter how much I end up regretting not doing those things. And if the thing requires any set-up or clean-up - such as painting - forget it! All of my mental spoons have been used up by just laying stuff out and pulling out my materials - that's a reason I only really blossomed as an artist after I got into Photoshop.

I'm at a point where I've exhausted all other options but to try to create professionally, so I'm really hoping I can break out of this and find workarounds.