An attempt...
8 Aug 2003 12:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
firecat...to draw some defining lines around the phrase "emotional extravagance."
In my brain, it's still a fuzzy concept of the "I know it when it irritates me" variety.
It's not just, or even primarily, about displaying emotions. It's also, or even more, about stuff like amplifying one's emotions, spending a lot of time and energy thinking about and talking about one's emotions, expecting/wanting other people to spend a lot of time thinking/talking about one's emotions, letting one's emotions be primary drivers of one's actions, letting one's emotions be primary determinants of the life story one carries around in one's head and tells others.
(All that stuff would be happening publicly/semi-publicly in order to count, since if it's happening only inside one's head, I wouldn't know about it and it wouldn't irritate me.)
Unpacking "amplifying one's emotions": In my experience, if I have a feeling of mild to moderate intensity, I can do three things: I can leave it alone, I can damp/suppress it (not snuff it completely, but lower its intensity), or I can increase it / whip it up. Amplifying an emotion would be deliberately increasing its intensity.
More as it occurs to me.
In my brain, it's still a fuzzy concept of the "I know it when it irritates me" variety.
It's not just, or even primarily, about displaying emotions. It's also, or even more, about stuff like amplifying one's emotions, spending a lot of time and energy thinking about and talking about one's emotions, expecting/wanting other people to spend a lot of time thinking/talking about one's emotions, letting one's emotions be primary drivers of one's actions, letting one's emotions be primary determinants of the life story one carries around in one's head and tells others.
(All that stuff would be happening publicly/semi-publicly in order to count, since if it's happening only inside one's head, I wouldn't know about it and it wouldn't irritate me.)
Unpacking "amplifying one's emotions": In my experience, if I have a feeling of mild to moderate intensity, I can do three things: I can leave it alone, I can damp/suppress it (not snuff it completely, but lower its intensity), or I can increase it / whip it up. Amplifying an emotion would be deliberately increasing its intensity.
More as it occurs to me.
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Re: Don't mind me, I'm just noodling out my own thoughts
Date: 8 Aug 2003 02:59 pm (UTC)I think this thread highlights an area that I've seen (both in myself and in other folks) cause problems. Namely the difference in meaning between
I have a problem with my particular behavior.
I have a problem witnessing/experiencing a particular behavior.
&
I have a problem with my particular behavior when witnessing/experiencing a particular behavior (not necessarily the same particular behavior).
because all three meanings can be derived from the same sentence "I have a problem with [particular behavior]."
Again, just thinking out loud.
Re: Don't mind me, I'm just noodling out my own thoughts
Date: 8 Aug 2003 04:53 pm (UTC)Re: Don't mind me, I'm just noodling out my own thoughts
Date: 8 Aug 2003 05:05 pm (UTC)Now to scroll back and look at the prior entry armed with this new clearer understanding. :-)