Ultimate to-do list

[firecat]

Last seen in the journal of sistercoyote:

Tell me three things I ought to do before I die.

Then, if you care to, post this in your LJ and ask your friends to do the same.
===
I'm altering it as follows:

Make each of the things you tell me to do something you have done.

Explain why it was so important to you - what you experienced, what you learned, and/or why other people (or why I specifically) should have this experience.

Comments

[snippy]

I don't know you well enough yet to make suggestions like this.

Most of the things I've done that are valuable and that I generally wish for others to experience are internal growth things.

Also, I'm not arrogant or narcissistic enough to think that what was transformational or incredibly fulfilling for me would be so for another. For example, I've only skiied 3 times and I loved it, but I'm both a speed demon and a control freak. Likewise, shouting "f*ck you" at my husband for the first time (which only happened a few weeks ago) was transformational for me, but that's because I had to learn to let myself be angry and let myself express it (other than a calm statement during a discussion "I am angry about X.")

[mittelbar.livejournal.com]

That's kinda where I am, too, on the whole "you MUST do this" thang.

[snippy]

Two more pieces, which mittelweg's answer helped me find:

First, that I actually think you (firecat) are a fully-formed, interesting person, and so suggesting changes to the person I am getting to know strikes me as far more critical than I am right now about who you are.

Second, if pressed, the only must I would be willing to share, and the one I think is most valuable, is that you must figure this out for yourself. That process will teach you as much or more about yourself as any individual action or achievement will.

And a piece about me: I don't often do shoulds, as I've written about extensively in many online venues. One of the ways I don't do shoulds is to advise people that they should change. I may be shocked at some people, I may dislike others, but I don't say to them "you should be more like this."

[firecat]

I agree with all that.

I suspect I'm looking less for replies that might be critical of me than for replies that might make me more so, if that makes any sense. (Which isn't intended as pressure to reply.)

[firecat]

All well said. And I agree that what someone else might recommend isn't what might work for me.

I'm posting the question mostly just to learn more about other people through what they say.