"Choosing" to be big? Not necessarily.

[firecat]

I don't think most people can subconsciously control their weight for psychological reasons. Scientists have done studies of twins (raised together and apart) and their weight is usually very similar even if they have different lifestyles and had different upbringings. The conclusion to a study like this is that weight has a very large genetic component.

I'm uncomfortable with the notion that most people are subconsciously choosing their weight, because that implies if you are big, there is something wrong with your head.

There are enough people who think there is something wrong with my body because I'm big. I don't really want them to all think there is something wrong with my head too!

Relating it to sexual orientation: At one time I had all sorts of psychological theories about why I couldn't make up my mind whether to be with men or women. Then a smart therapist said "Maybe you're just bi." I realized all my theories were unnecessary -- I didn't have to make a choice.

In other words, having plausible psychological theories about why one is big doesn't necessarily mean that's why one is big. It means that one feels the need to justify being big. That's understandable in a society that believes there is something wrong with being big.

Comments

[firecat]

I'm going to turn red from head to toe at this rate...

My buzz comes less from "guts" than from this "fuckit" attitude toward the whole daily fuss with your appearance thing.

I guess it takes guts to have such an attitude in this society.

What makes me lose confidence is not looking non-mainstream, but trying to look mainstream

The last time I tried to put on any makeup (for a reason other than a costume party)[B I burst into tears.
Let's just say that whenever I try to dress in a traditionally feminine manner I feel like I'm in drag.

[feline.livejournal.com]

The "fuckit" attitude in and of itself takes confidence. A lot of people never can shake thier head at the trivialities ebcause "what would the neighbors think?"

You don't need to look "mainstream". You're cute the way you are. There was a long period in my life when I didn't feel comfortable in anything other than my "drag king" outfits. Hell, I even bound my breasts down with sports bras and the like so I'd look more boyish. Even then, I still had people attracted to me.

Screw the make-up look if it doesn't work for you. You look great without it....

[firecat]

I generally don't feel the need to look "mainstream" or wear makeup. It was a much bigger issue when I was a kid because my mom really wanted me to be more feminine. Fortunately she has almost entirely gotten over this. She still doesn't like my buzzed hair. But that's OK, mom doesn't have to agree with me on everything.

I realized the other day that my body issues are different from those of a lot of women. A lot of women really don't like the way their own bodies look. I'm fine with the way I look when no one is pressuring me. Most of my body issues come from other people having a problem with my looks or from being frustrated that I can't do something physical I'd like to do.

You seem to share this attitude...I like that. It's too rare in women.

Drag king outfits... drool
I think gender-play is very hot.

[feline.livejournal.com]

My mom always accepted the way I looked, no matter what. It's something I really appreciate about her.

My body issues are the same. I really am not down on myself for the way I look, but it bothers the hell out of me when other people seem to disapprove or think I should look differently. If you damn well don't like how I look, don't stare and keep your freaking comments to yourself... (I got this attitude from my gramma)...

I love gender play...it's tons of fun...

When I had short hair I'd actually go to straight bars in drag and get girls' phone numbers, much to the chagrine of my male best friend. It bugged him because I almost always came home with more numbers than him.

I never had the nerve to call the girls though...was never sure if they realized I was a chick or not....

[firecat]

Hahaha! Your poor guy friend...

I've had the experience, online, of guessing someone's gender wrong. If I think it was a guy and it turns out to be a girl, I'm usually pleased. If I think it was a girl and it turns out to be a guy, I'm usually disappointed. Sometimes I feel weird about that. I mean, it's sexist. *gryn*

[feline.livejournal.com]

Heh. Hey, I'm the same way. Then again, I also get tired of men pretending to be women...

I usually scare them off though....

Being completely honest about your appearance does that...absolutely amazing....

[firecat]

I haven't run into too many men pretending to be women. (Well, if the first thing out of the supposed woman's mouth is "My measurements are 38" 25" 36" " then I strongly suspect it's not a woman.)

Yep, twit filter at work again.

[feline.livejournal.com]

I generally floor them and tell them honestly that I tend to find women of that frame less attractive....

when they ask why...

I tell them generally too thin...

that works as well.....