"Choosing" to be big? Not necessarily.

[firecat]

I don't think most people can subconsciously control their weight for psychological reasons. Scientists have done studies of twins (raised together and apart) and their weight is usually very similar even if they have different lifestyles and had different upbringings. The conclusion to a study like this is that weight has a very large genetic component.

I'm uncomfortable with the notion that most people are subconsciously choosing their weight, because that implies if you are big, there is something wrong with your head.

There are enough people who think there is something wrong with my body because I'm big. I don't really want them to all think there is something wrong with my head too!

Relating it to sexual orientation: At one time I had all sorts of psychological theories about why I couldn't make up my mind whether to be with men or women. Then a smart therapist said "Maybe you're just bi." I realized all my theories were unnecessary -- I didn't have to make a choice.

In other words, having plausible psychological theories about why one is big doesn't necessarily mean that's why one is big. It means that one feels the need to justify being big. That's understandable in a society that believes there is something wrong with being big.

Comments

[feline.livejournal.com]

True.

I know I'm uncomfortable when I'm thin. To be honest, I don't like being thin. Even getting down to a 12/14 makes me uncomfortable. It doesn't feel right or like my body for some reason.

I also didn't like the attention I got when I was thin.

"Oh, she's wierd looking and she has a hot body, I bet she puts out."

I still get the wierd looking part, but thankfully no more getting hit on or assumed I'm some sort of sexual toy, well not usually anyhow.

Oh, and welcome to my friends list....

[xp85goblin.livejournal.com]

I have seen cases that suggest willpower and cases that suggest genetics. Some people will be big eating nothing but rice cakes. Some people just can't stay out of donut shops. (whether that is genetic or not is a loaded question). There have been studies that show willpower can be learned. Admittedly it takes small steps taken over years. Aaand, if you have a big-on-ricecakes body, I would suggest spending the willpower ones finances or in the social arena....all that self-torture won't do much good.
As to sexuality...I am not sure to what extent one "chooses" one's sexuality anyway. I second-guess myself as to whether I am too hung up on looks and the sensory aspects of sex (It doesn't fit the image I have of myself as a sensitive, caring, spiritual and thoughtful guy)....but it is a waste of guilt as I can no more change it than fly. So if one likes MOTSS or MOTOS, or something rather socially unacceptable no matter how liberal and understanding you are, I am not sure how much of that reflects on one's whole person. One lives with the sexuality one is given, either gracefully, with some sense of ethics or by just wallowing (if one is able) with no thought for others. But I don't think anyone can change or choose the basic direction thier sexuality's arrow points (ladies, pardon the semi-phallic metaphor)

memorie

[(Anonymous)]

I think all men should think with their little head. cause the all do. Men just would't be men if they did'nt