Reposted from alt.poly

[firecat]

Apropos of a couple of discussions on wiscon lately I want to express the following, which I posted in alt.polyamory in a thread about said discussions:

Every time I try to describe my feelings about children it boils down to "Um...they are people." As with adults, I have all sorts of superficial thoughts about the ones I don't know - positive, neutral, suspicious, whatever, depending on my mood and their behavior in the moment - and I tend to like the ones I know, especially if they take an interest in me.

Also, I think that hate speech directed at any people is ugly.

For the record, I don't have or want children of my own.

Comments

[windsea.livejournal.com]

I spent over half of my life -- until I was at least 33 or 34 -- not having or wanting children. Gradually, I changed my mind, and succeeded in having two, when I was 37 and 39 -- much more than half a lifetime ago.

Even before I had them I was uncomfortable with the sort of bigotry you describe, on more than just the alt.poly newsgroup. Conflating the choice not to have children, the visceral bigoted dislike of that transient state of being (and of those who have brought them into existence), and feminism is simply mad.

In its essence, western feminism is all about choice and rights -- the right women have to the same choices and rights men have always had. It has no links with ageist analysis.

People who loathe children seem to forget that they were a child themselves once. Or, possibly, they had such a miserable experience that they are taking it out on all children.

Like you, I like some kids. I dislike others. I have done my damndest to raise my kids as individuals who respect the space and rights of others.

To read the vitriol on alt.poly and think of it aimed at my two, for no other reason that they are younger than the posters -- well, there's another reason I've lurked for many years. And I think I may just chuck reading it too. Enough, already.

[firecat]

In alt.poly's defense, some of the vitriol is being repeated from another source for the purpose of criticizing it, rather than being the opinions of the posters. But yeah.