Fun with telemarketers

[firecat]

I canceled my service at Dish Network about nine months ago, because the satellite dish got removed to install a new roof and I wasn't watching TV anyway, so I didn't want to keep paying the monthly fee. I plugged $10 rabbit ears into my TV and now I get anywhere from 2.3 to 15.249 channels depending on the weather, the time of day, and whether the moon is in Taurus. I channel-surf maybe a couple times a month.

Tonight a telemarketer calls me.

Telemarketer from Dish Network: "Why did you cancel your service?"
Me: "I pretty much stopped watching TV, so..."
Telemarketer: "But don't you think you might want to watch a little bit of TV? At a really cheap price?"
Me: "I dunno, but I don't want to restart my Dish service."
Telemarketer: "But is there a specific reason why you canceled your service?"
Me: .....
(*imagines what the next 10 minutes will be like if I start explaining it*)
(*hangs up*)

Comments

[amethystfirefly]

-facepalms-

That's one of the many reasons I don't answer the phone unless it's someone I know. :p

[firecat]

I often do that, but I was expecting a phone call...

[stardreamer]

Two possible responses:

1) "Because I wasn't getting my money's worth out of it." *click*
This has the advantage of actually answering the question he asked, in a way that's really hard for him to argue with.

2) "Are you aware that this number is on both the State and Federal Do-Not-Call lists?"
If he says anything other than some version of, "Sorry, ma'am, we won't call you again," you interrupt and say, "DO NOT EVER CALL THIS NUMBER AGAIN." *click*

I have zero patience with telemarketers. They get ONE chance to give the correct answer to a polite-but-annoyed response, and then I pull out the tactical nukes.

[klwalton]

I don't even waste my energy. If I answer the phone (Caller ID is the best!), and the answer to my question, "Is this a sales call?" is "Yes" or something weaselly that really means "Yes", I hang up and go about my business.

[firecat]

I don't have caller ID because I resent the phone company's selling my number to telemarketers and then turning around and selling me a service to let me tell whether telemarketers are calling. :-P

[klwalton]

That's a good point. :)

[firecat]

1) "Because I wasn't getting my money's worth out of it.

That response would have sent him to the part of the script where he talks about how I can have the service back really cheap.

With my mom in an eldercare home, I get a lot more phone calls from people I don't know than I used to. It used to be that as soon as I heard "May I speak to Mrs. [Lastname]?" I would say "putmeonyourdonotcallist" and hang up, but now I have to listen to the next sentence.

[janetmiles]

I believe that once you have had a business relationship with a company, they are no longer bound by Do-Not-Call. *sigh*

Telemarketer: "But is there a specific reason why you canceled your service?

[wordweaverlynn]

It had a curse on it.

Don't need it ever since I started picking up Cuban TV on my fillings.

I've found Lord Cthulhu, and he forbids me to have contact with merely human tentacles. May I tell you how the elder gods can change your life?

My cat climbed into the dish, and he electromagnetic radiation cooked it.

Re: Telemarketer: "But is there a specific reason why you canceled your service?

[firecat]

*giggle*!

[amadi]

"I can no longer watch television due to a medical condition."

The condition is, of course, boredoffmyassitis which is caused by the quality of modern television programming. :D

[ailbhe]

We say "The only people in this house who watch TV are under 7 years of age and they don't make buying decisions."

re: Fun with telemarketers

[betonica]

Got a call yesterday from a telemarketer, but I know it was a scam. We've been getting calls from some nameless (fictional) company that supposedly will lower our credit card rates (I called someone like the Better Business Bureau or the DA or something once, and got the lowdown). I've probably gotten at least 20 calls from them over the years, including three in the last month.

So I kept this guy on the phone for two minutes, playing dumb ("So, are you guys MasterCard?" "Did you get my number from Visa?" - interestingly, the guy actually said "yes" to that one). Then I said I'd kept him on the phone for two minutes, the call had been traced, and the DA was going to sue his ass. And hung up.

My 74 yo mother gets these calls (she's explained repeatedly that she doesn't *have* a credit card). Her calls are apparently always from someone named Heather. Yesterday she routed her way through the automated stuff to an answering machine, and ended her reply with, "And you need to get rid of that Heather person. If you don't, I'm going to kill her."

Re: Fun with telemarketers

[firecat]

I've gotten those calls too.

"And you need to get rid of that Heather person. If you don't, I'm going to kill her."

LOL!

[treacle-well.livejournal.com]

But don't you think you might want to watch a little bit of TV? At a really cheap price?

Why yes, that's exactly what I am doing and, amazing as you might find this, I don't need Dish to do so. Bye.

I know it's not part of a telemarketer's job to easily take no for an answer, but I've found it really irksome to deal with their persistence.

[firecat]

but I've found it really irksome to deal with their persistence.

Exactly.