Fun with telemarketers

[firecat]

I canceled my service at Dish Network about nine months ago, because the satellite dish got removed to install a new roof and I wasn't watching TV anyway, so I didn't want to keep paying the monthly fee. I plugged $10 rabbit ears into my TV and now I get anywhere from 2.3 to 15.249 channels depending on the weather, the time of day, and whether the moon is in Taurus. I channel-surf maybe a couple times a month.

Tonight a telemarketer calls me.

Telemarketer from Dish Network: "Why did you cancel your service?"
Me: "I pretty much stopped watching TV, so..."
Telemarketer: "But don't you think you might want to watch a little bit of TV? At a really cheap price?"
Me: "I dunno, but I don't want to restart my Dish service."
Telemarketer: "But is there a specific reason why you canceled your service?"
Me: .....
(*imagines what the next 10 minutes will be like if I start explaining it*)
(*hangs up*)

Comments

[stardreamer]

Two possible responses:

1) "Because I wasn't getting my money's worth out of it." *click*
This has the advantage of actually answering the question he asked, in a way that's really hard for him to argue with.

2) "Are you aware that this number is on both the State and Federal Do-Not-Call lists?"
If he says anything other than some version of, "Sorry, ma'am, we won't call you again," you interrupt and say, "DO NOT EVER CALL THIS NUMBER AGAIN." *click*

I have zero patience with telemarketers. They get ONE chance to give the correct answer to a polite-but-annoyed response, and then I pull out the tactical nukes.

[klwalton]

I don't even waste my energy. If I answer the phone (Caller ID is the best!), and the answer to my question, "Is this a sales call?" is "Yes" or something weaselly that really means "Yes", I hang up and go about my business.

[firecat]

I don't have caller ID because I resent the phone company's selling my number to telemarketers and then turning around and selling me a service to let me tell whether telemarketers are calling. :-P

[klwalton]

That's a good point. :)

[firecat]

1) "Because I wasn't getting my money's worth out of it.

That response would have sent him to the part of the script where he talks about how I can have the service back really cheap.

With my mom in an eldercare home, I get a lot more phone calls from people I don't know than I used to. It used to be that as soon as I heard "May I speak to Mrs. [Lastname]?" I would say "putmeonyourdonotcallist" and hang up, but now I have to listen to the next sentence.

[janetmiles]

I believe that once you have had a business relationship with a company, they are no longer bound by Do-Not-Call. *sigh*