firecat: red panda, winking (reflections)
[personal profile] firecat
[livejournal.com profile] kshandra pointed to this quote about depression.

Interesting. Everyone seems to be agreeing with it, but it's not all that similar to how I experience what I've called depression.

What I've called chronic depression includes a tendency to become...easily overstimulated. Sensory stimuli start feeling like sandpaper on my nerves, and I have to retreat into simplicity. If there's no way to physically retreat, I withdraw from what's going on around me.

I like intense sensations and feelings but I tend not to seek out as many such experiences as most other people I know. A little goes a long way. That's why I've tended to call it depression: because I feel like it limits me from living what's commonly considered "a full life" and because it looks like withdrawl. Also, because I've occasionally experienced its lifting along with the sense "Oh, so that is what it's like to feel normal; that's why other people can keep going so much longer than I usually can."

At the same time, I am suspicious of the standard notion of "a full life"; I think aspects of it are way too narrow and superficial and don't leave room for contemplation.

So if my "easily overstimulated" state of mind doesn't count as mild depression, what should it be called?

Re: Heya!

Date: 27 May 2002 11:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cjsmith.livejournal.com
I was going to recommend this, but I see it's been done. :-)

One thing that disappointed me about that book is that it did not seem to offer any methods of coping. The book insists that this trait is neither negative nor positive, simply neutral; but in today's world, surrounded by mostly non-HSPs, I find this trait in myself to be something almost like a handicap. Suggestions for coping strategies would have been really great to read.

Maybe I should dig out the book again. I might have missed something.

Re: Heya!

Date: 30 May 2002 04:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cjsmith.livejournal.com
I wonder whether there is a connection between HSP and needing a quiet regular life and wanting sometimes to go outside your regular life and do something adventuresome.

That's an interesting thought. I've been mulling it over for a day or so and it does seem to make sense. I don't know that I need a quiet regular life, although I do need quiet time. (I don't think I get enough of that right now.) But I definitely have a need for adventuresome bits as well.

The trait has been neutral for me at some points in my life. At other points I've felt it was a handicap.

One of the exercises in the book asks the reader to think back to a time when the trait was a definite asset. I read that book years ago and I still haven't come up with such a time. (pout.)

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