Vanna White is gesturing toward me

[firecat]

[recycled from fb]

It's coming out day again! I'll start with the LGBT stuff since that's what this day was created around:

I'm nonbinary (they/them or zie/zir pronouns) and transmasculine. I'm attracted to people of various (but not all) genders.

Other things I sometimes have to come out about: I'm fat, a fat activist, polyamorous, disabled, agnostic/pagan/buddhist, politically progressive

Now tell me about YOU.

Comments

[firecat]

I like “omnidemisexual”. That’s mostly me in real life. My fantasy life is somewhat more gender focused. I agree cisgender people all do gender a little differently. It’s fascinating.

[ng_moonmoth]

Glad to hear you liked my sexual orientation descriptor, and that it fit. As for cisgender people doing gender "a little" differently, my impression is that it can be quite a bit differently. By way of example, there appears to be a decent cohort of men who evaluate "manliness" on a scale that awards points for the degree to which one smokes, drinks, fights, has sex, blows up/kills things (includes gun use), and thinks Jackass is funny. Nobody would ever confuse my dad with being anything other than a man, and he got maybe two and a half of that. And there are plenty of equally valid men I know in fandom who would score a big round zero on that checklist.

Yes, it's fascinating -- and frustrating, in roughly equal amounts. Frustrating in how many of them can accept how other gender-normative people do gender so readily, yet be so hostile to how gender-variant people do their gender. Maybe as our population grows, more of them will realize that our gender expression doesn't harm them or affect how they live their lives, and will decide to understand. (Yeah, right...)

[firecat]

Good point, “masculine” and “feminine” cover loads of territory. The stereotype you mention is why I can’t accurately say gender doesn’t factor into my attractions. I am not attracted to men who rack up a big score on that definition of “masculine”.