An attempt...
8 Aug 2003 12:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
firecat...to draw some defining lines around the phrase "emotional extravagance."
In my brain, it's still a fuzzy concept of the "I know it when it irritates me" variety.
It's not just, or even primarily, about displaying emotions. It's also, or even more, about stuff like amplifying one's emotions, spending a lot of time and energy thinking about and talking about one's emotions, expecting/wanting other people to spend a lot of time thinking/talking about one's emotions, letting one's emotions be primary drivers of one's actions, letting one's emotions be primary determinants of the life story one carries around in one's head and tells others.
(All that stuff would be happening publicly/semi-publicly in order to count, since if it's happening only inside one's head, I wouldn't know about it and it wouldn't irritate me.)
Unpacking "amplifying one's emotions": In my experience, if I have a feeling of mild to moderate intensity, I can do three things: I can leave it alone, I can damp/suppress it (not snuff it completely, but lower its intensity), or I can increase it / whip it up. Amplifying an emotion would be deliberately increasing its intensity.
More as it occurs to me.
In my brain, it's still a fuzzy concept of the "I know it when it irritates me" variety.
It's not just, or even primarily, about displaying emotions. It's also, or even more, about stuff like amplifying one's emotions, spending a lot of time and energy thinking about and talking about one's emotions, expecting/wanting other people to spend a lot of time thinking/talking about one's emotions, letting one's emotions be primary drivers of one's actions, letting one's emotions be primary determinants of the life story one carries around in one's head and tells others.
(All that stuff would be happening publicly/semi-publicly in order to count, since if it's happening only inside one's head, I wouldn't know about it and it wouldn't irritate me.)
Unpacking "amplifying one's emotions": In my experience, if I have a feeling of mild to moderate intensity, I can do three things: I can leave it alone, I can damp/suppress it (not snuff it completely, but lower its intensity), or I can increase it / whip it up. Amplifying an emotion would be deliberately increasing its intensity.
More as it occurs to me.
Re: Daniel Goleman
Date: 8 Aug 2003 05:00 pm (UTC)In my experience, not all people who are emotionally extravagant are unaware of it, and the emotions generated are not all negative. I seem to have a problem with extravagance of positive emotions too.
But yes, self-deceptive drama queens are part of the group.
The newsletter is interesting. I've known a few people who vaguely fit the description provided, but I haven't seen business units ruined by such people. Then again, perhaps I wouldn't know, because I tend not to be the prey of choice for people like that.